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| M. Gopala Krishnan. |
This is an English translation of Rasigan, a short story written by M. Gopala Krishnan. Translated by Saravanan. K.
***
We received an information from Subbuni that every one
of us should assemble at the loom house that evening to discuss changing of
‘female deity’. All, four of us, became terribly angry at his decision.
Angappan went to an extent of suggesting that Subbuni must be thrown out of their
‘association’ immediately. Both Selvarasu and Mathesh expressed their angst that
even meeting Subbuni in person itself would amount to nothing less than a sin.
I convinced all three and coaxed them somehow to meet him in the evening even
though punishing Subbuni for his impudence to change our ‘female deity’ still
remained the matter of our consensus.
We assembled at the loom house long before he had
arrived in. We all had decided that we would stand in unison to reject his
offer of ‘changing deity’ by not accepting whatsoever justification he was
likely to place before us for consideration. It hadn’t been even one year since our ‘female
deity’ was changed. There was no immediate urgency to change it again now.
We could see Subbuni coming by bicycle at the corner
of Kamakshi Amman temple. He looked like the God of death, sitting astride a
buffalo. His body gesturing various moves full of zeal, he approached us with
the jingling of bicycle bell. The stones of the loom house, while looking in
dark, were bearing the resemblance of students standing stiff in school
assembly. He stumped his toe on the ground, stylishly, and tilted his bicycle
on one side.
While alighting from the bicycle with his one leg on
the ground and the right leg drawing a curve of semi-circle around in the air,
we heard him emitting a shrill cry of pain, “ssss….soooo”. A sharp cow-thorn
had pierced his foot. We were standing, showing our back to him as if we were
not aware of his arrival. He leaned his bicycle against a stone of loom house
and shouted at us irritatingly. “Have you all come to any funeral? Why the heck
do you all stand like this with your fallen faces? You don’t even realise that
a man has come to meet you. Do you?”
“Man?...where? where?” Mathesh turned his head with
irritation. Subbuni untied his lungi, adjusted it and tied it again on his
waist.
“My dear folks! I know you guys are very angry with me
and won’t accept what I am going to say. But if you listen to what I say, you
will be proud of me for the rest of your life for what I have done”
He jumped up, sat on the veranda, put his hands inside
his vest and took out a brown colour envelop. ‘It will either be yet another
Saroja Devi book or video CDs of some actors featuring in cooking oil
advertisements’. Not overtly expressing our curiosity, we were just waiting
for an opportune moment so that anyone of us could start our collective tirade
against him.
“I do accept I would also be extremely angry like you
if I come across such a suggestion. The main difference between you and me is
that I would like to pay attention to know what it is, unlike you. You guys
prefer to be stubborn. How could then we sort out this problem?” he scratched
his head violently, and requested them, “Any one of you come forward and have a
glance at it before we could think of sorting out our differences”. He took out
some photos from the cover and threw them in the front.
All those pictures were newspaper clippings, printed
on shiny papers and looked splendid. We stealthily glanced at them through the
corner of our eyes. ‘Who’s this woman? Is she the newly appointed ‘female
deity’ he was talking about?’ They could not take away their eyes from that
picture. Her smile and curves had arrested them.
Mathesh whispered in lower voice, “Who’s this woman?”
I was annoyed at Subbuni’s efforts towards changing
our mind with those pictures. ‘No. I shouldn’t allow it.’ Before
bursting with the angry words, something in the corner of my brain alerted my
senses and made me ask myself ‘have I seen her before?’
Angappan held the picture above his head and examined
it. The dim light of the loom house was not sufficient to relish her appeal.
“She looks gorgeous da…where have you got her?”
Selvarasu, who was puffing his bidi till that
moment turned his face to them and said, “All asses will look similar. You
won’t find anything special in this. Will you? A new ‘female deity’ is yet to
take birth to replace our present one”. He got up, went near to a wall where
datura bushes were found thickly grown, and urinated there.
“She is born now Selva. Open your eyes, look at this
before you pass your judgement”
Subbuni was very much happy as three of us were now on
his side. Only one was not with him. He was confident that he would enjoy
majority on his side under any circumstances.
“Yes…though she looks beautiful, she doesn’t possess
anything big that could make her eligible to be our ‘female deity’”. ‘What
will happen to my pride if I accept whatever Subbuni says’- Mathesh
objected.
Subbuni emitted an inscrutable grin on his face.
“Yes…you are right. I do accept that she doesn’t have anything big. You
must know, being endowed with something big alone won’t be sufficient,
Mathu” said Subbuni.
Angappan examined all those pictures deeply once
again, and relished them simultaneously by bringing it near to his eyes and
holding them at a distance. The expressions on his face kept changing- he
smiled first, then got astonished and then wrinkled his face- as if he was the
immediate heir of Navarathri
Shivaji Ganesan1.
As it was relatively dark, everyone could bear his
intolerable expressions lest directly going to hell, had it been day time.
While we had reservations in terming her thin and slim, we couldn’t consider
her relatively fatter either. Her body was well built. Long legs. Smile with
buck teeth. Charming and plump cheeks. She seemed attractive if her body parts
were individually assessed. I couldn’t figure out that missing factor that had
made us think that she was not a perfect beauty. Mathesh seemed to have fallen
flat on seeing her. Angappan was already prepared to align his loyalty with
Subbuni. Selvarasu extended his hands to pick up those pictures, unwillingly
though. Subbuni pushed his hands aside hastily, and told him, “Don’t touch it
Selva. You can touch it only after
washing your hands”
The hell broke loose. Selvarasu became uncontrollably
agitated after hearing those words. He flung the beedi and invectives started
pouring in the moment he opened his mouth to speak. As I couldn’t write down
all he spoke, I just allow myself to record the first sentence he uttered.
“Dei…I need to wash my hands. Don’t I? I know what you
would be doing with it. Definitely you wouldn’t worship it by lighting lamp in
front of it. Right? You dog…you ask me to wash my hands.”
We all came to a consensus that what Subbuni had told
was wrong. We insisted that going further with his suggestion would be possible
only after he made apologies to Selvarasu. Subbuni seemed to have been
unaffected by all their protests. He kept the brown cover in safe custody
inside his vest.
“Folks! Listen to me! You can’t do anything here
without me. You all know very well that every Saturday you all have no other
means of enjoyment other than coming to my house. Think before you try anything
funny”, Subbuni sat nonchalantly cross legged, and lit a cigarette with the
aura of a person of high esteem.
His words were not void of truth. On Saturday nights,
Selvarasu used to be the first person pacing fast to meet Subbuni at his house.
Subbuni was working in Poonthurai. It was only through
this town of Poonthurai, modern life style from outside came to Chennimalai.
Every aspect, right from weeklies such as Kumudam and Vikadan to CDs of newly
released movies, all found their way to Chennimalai only from there. As Subbuni
was employed in Commercial Tax department, he had some privileged access to
them. He was a Vandichakkaram Sivakumar 2 for Chennimalai.
When he used to alight from Angaiyarkanni bus passing through Arachlur at seven
O’ clock every evening, his customers would be waiting for him in queue to
savour his offers.
His house, located in Nadukkampathu lane adjacent to
Angalamman Temple Street, was nothing more than a traditional loom house. His
mother ‘deaf’ Muththal was the person who could tell when the loom became
functional in the house and who all had weaved there. However, she was such a deaf
woman that one must be ready to face the probability being forced to devote his
whole life time if he ever wanted a reply to his question from her. Muththal
was a hard worker and an expert in all loom related works as well. Other than
loom related works, she used to sell snacks in the evening and assist in
cooking during marriage functions. One could see tattoos drawn on the shrunk,
shiny skin of her hands and shoulder. Her elder son was Komaru alias Kumaresan.
Youngest was Subbuni alias Subramani. They were born after her years long
dedicated visits to Chennimalai Murugan temple. Other than the fact that the
letter “K” in his initials represented a man called Kanagavel, his father,
Subbuni did not remember anything about his father. Muththal would also never
lament about her husband nor complained about him. Ever since the day Subbuni
could remember his adulthood, he had been seeing his mother wearing only one
set of uniform like dress- a dull saffron colour sari, white blouse, and a
square shaped vermillion tattooed on her forehead.
It was a house with four big halls, cemented with
traditional tiles on roof. The floor was made of evenly levelled cobble stone
bed, and polished with cow dung. At the right most corner, was there a kitchen
with a wash basin. Adjacent to it, was there a ‘big house’ on the top with a
single window. The similar pattern was replicated on the left side corner too.
Main thoroughfare of the house was on the right corner kitchen area. The big
halls lying in the middle remained empty. Locking the house simply meant
locking only the ‘big house’. It meant closing the kitchen with a palm leave
partition tied with a yellow rope. No security needed for anything in the
house; there were nothing in the house worth requiring security either.
Both the brothers were always at loggerheads with each
other. Other than the curly hairs, nothing between them bore any similarity.
They were even unashamed of fighting with each other for no any justifiable
reason.
As it was agreed to allot the ‘big house’ to each,
Komaru occupied the left corner and Subbuni settled with the right side.
Muththal was also of the opinion that the western side of the house must go to
the elder one. Komaru was more educated than Subbuni, which fetched him a job
in Erode with higher income, and he always boasted about it. A curtain was
hanging at his room door and he had instructed everyone to follow ‘manners’ by
seeking permission before entering his room. In his room, were there a cot, a
mattress with cover, a Godrej table with a table cloth and a Philips tape
recorder placed on it. While at home, he
would listen to Ilaiyaraja songs in low volume, audible only to him. He would
enjoy running commentary of Kuthabiran, Ramamoorthy and Abdul Jaffar on some
cricket matches held in Chennai. Sometimes, he would play mischief with the
volume of tape recorder by increasing and decreasing it to get Subbuni annoyed
who was waiting outside the door with his ears sticking to it. He had an
exclusive cub board attached with the mirror of a man’s height. While going to
Erode, he would lock his room and wouldn’t spare keys with anyone.
Subbuni also wanted to have all facilities what his
brother had, but was determined not to buy anything as it was already done by
his brother. With the mat not kept properly, pillows which were never washed of
its oil dirt for long, and dresses hanging on twin doors he showed himself as a
rebel in the house.
When the television boxes became a house hold name,
Subbuni went ahead of his brother Komau, and purchased it first. Aligning the
tall antenna with a long iron pole fixed along with the side wall cemented with
the roof, and turning it in different angles to bring the clear images on
screen from its initial struggle with dense black and white dots, had all made
Subbuni emerging out of the wall he was standing, as a victor. The dyanora TV
had accorded him a status of an achiever. He installed the television at a
specific place so that he could only watch it. Except Komaru, anyone could come
to his room to enjoy television programmes. Evenings in the house were full of
mirth. Komaru started coming home late, deliberately though. At times he
admonished Muththal that he would go back to Erode if she couldn’t serve him
food as she was so much engrossed with the television.
Subbuni used to add fuel in the fire. “Let him go…ma.
We will rent out his portion”
When Komaru bought a television for himself, another
antenna was found on the other side wall. He tried coaxing Mutthal, asked her
come to his room to watch programmes in his colour television.
“Don’t go there Old woman! Don’t forget the old for
new”- as Subbuni intimidated her, the matter became a big issue and was brought
to the notice of village elders.
Village elders passed a verdict that the old lady
should watch television at her elder son’s place one day and at her younger
son’s place next day.
“Hell with your stupid thing. Keep it with you. I
won’t watch all that nonsense”- the old lady spread her sari on the veranda and
lay there, head supported with her hand.
Subbuni didn’t stop with that. When he came to know
that Kajalakshmi movie hall in Tiruppur was showing movies with the help of
video deck, he learnt the tricks of using it. It was he who started the
revolution of showing movies with video deck in Kumaranmalai.
It was a Saturday night of second week in the cold
winter season in the month of Karthikai. (Roughly October- November).
Subbuni’s room was filled with visitors. No one would be permitted to enter
other than the invited ones. Everyone had to share the burden of electricity
and the rental of charges of deck and cassettes. It was solemnly accepted that
no one would bring their near kith and kin to watch the movies. An oath of
secrecy was also taken by the members that no one would disclose anything about
the show to anyone.
Taking the younger generation of his area from being
brutes who were just watching Oliyum Oliyum programme once in a week on
television to another level, sharing his knowledge he had gained from many
sources with others, and making everyone filled with the happiness that he was
enjoying, had all made the stature of Subbuni relatively high in his
surroundings.
They waited for the village go to sleep. The first
show was Kanthan Karunai movie. Muththal was also happy seeing his son
playing the movies like movie halls inside her house. She blessed him “let him
live longer”. At once she went to bed at ten ‘O clock, the boys started
becoming restless. Subbuni had two cassettes- one Malayalam and another Korean.
Selvarasu requested Subbuni very earnestly with his
reddened eyes, “let us watch Malayalam first, Subbuni” There were three movie
halls in Kumaranmalai. Those situated in the town wouldn’t run Malayalam
movies. Chandraroopa cinemas, located at Othukkuli Road used to run Malayalam
movies during the period when other movies were not available. He had seen “Mohanarathri”
and “Elaraikkulla vandi”. But those soft porn flicks failed to satiate
his craving for ‘that’. Though they were capable of stimulating his
hormones, they were found inadequate in explaining the essentials in detail. He
was very hopeful that Subbuni’s movies would offer him a new leash of life.
“Play anything you want, Subbuni. Every nonsense is
same anyway.” Angappan was restless as he had to leave for home early. He
wanted to watch both before he ran out of time. ‘It wasn’t affordable going
back after giving money. Was it?’
Subbuni preferred Malayalam movie first. Subbuni’s
room was burning with heavy sighs and eyes that remained wide open. When
Subbuni suggested to have tea after Malayalam movie was over, no one was ready
to accept it. They jumped to Korean movie without wasting time. The foreign
faces were looking more attractive than the local Malayalam faces. Finally,
that task was accomplished rather in low sound in that dark room.
Next day morning, when the sun light was harsh above
the head, Subbuni came out of his house with his reddened eyes. ‘Mill Ramatha’,
who was making chili powder, in a stone grinder for cooking mutton stew in the front
yard, asked him, “What a naughty guy are you Subbuni! Had you told us about the
movie, we would also have joined”. On hearing her words, Subbuni was hell
shocked, and felt a lump in throat. “What are you saying?” – the tooth paste
soaked with saliva came out of his mouth, speckled in the air.
“Your mother told that you were showing everyone some
‘deity’ movie with video deck yesterday night”
From that day, ‘deity’ movie became their secret code.
Only after two weeks, Komaru came to know about Subbuni’s
mischief. Despite his earnest anger, restiveness and fights with Muththal, she
was not ready to believe his version of complaints.
“I watched that movie myself. How could I believe your
words?” she rejected his complaint with a sway of her hands. Subbuni, eating
his eighth idli mixed with sambar, was so elated listening to his mother’s
words.
“Ma…the night before the coming full moon day we are
going to play “Thai Moogambikai” movie. Don’t miss it” he told her aloud.
Only if he could manage playing this deity movie exactly at six, he would be
able to play his actual ‘deity’ movie immediately after all the old people
resigned to bed. Hence this arrangement!
It was Komaru who played a major role in introducing
full length ‘blue films’ to those people who were once just contented with
watching ‘bits’ of occasional ‘deity’ movies. One of his mischief acts done out
of jealousy to dismantle the porn watching infrastructure of Subbuni became in
fact counter-productive, as it only enhanced Subbuni’s influence.
Komaru thought that his job towards this goal had got over
after he informed about Subbuni to Mettankadu Sinnakasi. It was well known fact
that no one would be able to do anything, no matter how pettier in nature,
without the knowledge of Sinnakasi in Kumaranmalai area. His was the first and
prominent face one could witness in everything around there. A single word
introduction was sufficient to describe him- He was a Casanova. Jack of all
trade. Experienced. A fun loving chap going to the town by Yercaud Express
every month to enjoy the pleasures of his life. The elders of the village would
be waiting every Monday evenings to listen to the stories of his escapades. Despite
the burning jealousy in their belly watching him spend thousands of rupees to
enjoy his world of heaven, they were trying to find some elements of solace for
themselves by listening to his sleazy stories.
Initially, Sinnakasi was not much interested in
listening to Komaru. Neither was he inclined nor objected to watching videos.
But what had pricked him was that someone could do something like that without
his knowledge. ‘How could they do it without his knowledge?’
“Ask Subbuni to meet me?-when Sinnakasi told these
words, stroking his buttered moustache, Komaru was immensely happy and thought,
‘This will be the end of Subbuni’.
Soon after Komaru met Subbuni, all the loom house
members assembled for an emergency meeting. Komaru fantasised that Subbuni’s
game was over due to the intervention of Sinnakasi Annan. ‘Now let all these
chaps remain in loom house and die there’
We were all terrified at the idea suggested by
Sinnakasi Annan. “Dei….it doesn’t sound good. I am scared. We have been watching
porn for these many days secretly. Let us not go beyond it. Maple…let’s
not entertain this idea. If it is known to anyone, nothing remains but a disgrace”
Angappan was shivering when he told this. Though Mathesh was in favour of new
experiment, he was also petrified.
“No one would come to know about it. Just like what we
are doing at present, we could finish watching it in the midnight. Such movies
wouldn’t be lengthy anyway. They won’t show anything more once the main
essentials are over. Will they?” Selvarasu told enthusiastically.
“There is a facility to forward the portions we don’t
like to watch. Isn’t it?”
Finally it was decided to play a blue film once in a
month. Sinnakasi would also come when the movie was scheduled for display. His
only one condition: the first movie should be his choice and it was his
responsibility to arrange the movie.
Only it was at this time when Subbuni’s house was
filled with increased number of visitors who had begun their auspicious journey
of watching porn from local Malayalam to international level, Subbuni had decided
to change our ‘female deity’ much to our consternation, angst and anger.
***
The first ‘female deity’ of the Loom House Association
was selected in Ranga Movie hall. It was a Rajnikanth movie. It was her debut
movie and she acted as a heroine to another main character in the movie. She
was slim and fair. It seemed that her body was so frail that it would break
even at the slightest of touch. On seeing her on the screen Subbuni fell flat
and shouted unmindful of his surrounding, “O! Here is my female deity”. All the
members of loom house association accepted her as their ‘female deity’ from
that day.
Her status of being their ‘female deity’ was not put
to test for the last nine long years. During this period, her four or five
movies were also released. They watched them in its first show. They prepared
an album with her pictures collected from many sources and updated it with
newspaper clippings. They celebrated her birthday in Theradi Street by cutting
cakes.
It was the third day after they celebrated their
female deity’s birthday. It was a festival day of local goddess Mariyamman. The
entire village was in festive mood with neem leaves and turmeric displayed
everywhere. A free butter milk stall was opened on behalf of their Loom House Association.
The picture of their ‘female deity’ was placed along with goddess Mariyamman.
As a part of festivities, Kamal Hasan’s ‘Vetri
Vizha’ movie was released in Thirumagal movie theatre. They couldn’t find
time to watch it during the first three days of its release. Butter milk kiosk
consumed their time during the day; and dances around the pole in the evenings.
The members of the association used to wear dresses uniformly during festivals.
This year, they bought soft cotton saris designed with flowers from Erode’s
S.B.B textiles and made shirts out of it for each one of them. It was only on
that particular evening after the turmeric ablution ceremony was over, they
found their convenient time to visit the movie hall.
All of them were very tired. Despite knowing that they
wouldn’t be able to concentrate on the movie, they went to the theatre just to
upkeep their tradition. As the movie started, Subbuni fell asleep, slowly
stretching his legs out as an enthusiastic hero was running behind someone on the
screen.
Who woke him up? It wasn’t even known how he woke up
exactly at that particular scene. Suddenly he got up, and yelled at everyone.
“Look there….look there….Look there our female deity
daa…”. Everyone rubbed their eyes once to see properly since they went there
with a belief that their female deity didn’t act in that movie. Kushbu, was
dancing, to the song “seevi sinukkeduththu poova mudichchu vantha puthupponne”.
Though they had seen her in some movies earlier, she didn’t attract their
attention. Now he was going to celebrate her as their female deity. They
thought that he was speaking in sleep something incoherent.
But Subbuni was fully awake. Fully ecstatic, he was
totally engrossed on the screen without even batting his eye lids.
Soon after he came out of the hall, he bought two
yards of partially withered firecracker flower from a nearby flower shop.
Though the picture of Kushbu pasted on the woven leaves partition was very
small, he placed those flowers around it and relished that moment.
No one in the Loom House Association had ever thought
of replacing Kushbu who had entered their heart as their ‘female deity’ with
someone new. They were living with a belief that Kushbu would remain their
permanent ‘female deity’ for ever.
***
Now all of a sudden, Subbuni declared someone as their
female deity. He even ordered to wash off one’s hands before touching her
photograph. If someone dared to ask him for justification for his decision, he
just blackmailed them with the Saturday shows. As they couldn’t afford missing
it, they decided to remain quiet and accepted what he had said.
Selvarasu, still carrying ego on his face, sat at a
distance sulking at Subbuni’s decision.
“What is her name?”-Angapan asked him
inconsequentially.
“Deva Manohari”- While pronouncing it, Subbuni spelt
it letter by letter as if he was experiencing a sublime pleasure by doing it. ‘What
a fantastic performance just to pronounce her name!’
“In which movie did you come across her?”
Rolling his eyes wide, he summoned the questioner to
come near to him.
“The more important aspect in this episode is that my decision
of appointing her as our female deity is not based watching any of her movies….”.
They got annoyed with his way of talking with impending suspense. Subbuni
laughed intermittently.
“You dog! Tell that first” We could hear the irritated
voice of Selvarasu.
“I met her in person” he looked up proudly as he told
this.
It was indeed a great shock for all of us. ‘Where
did he meet her, that too in person?’
“Stop your bluff. You told she is our female deity.
Just because we accepted it, don’t try to cook up stories that you had met her
in person” Angappan untied his dhoti once, adjusted it and tied it again.
“Believe me. I have taken this decision only after
meeting her. Listen to me patiently. Once I complete my narration, I assure
that you that I will feast you with Barotta at Ramasami mess.”
‘If he is ready to buy barotta from Ramasami mess for
all of us, then there would be no wrong in listening to whatever nonsense he
speaks. Heaven wouldn’t fall upon our head just by listening to him. Would it?’
…
Subbuni was waiting at Erode railway station to send
off his officer who had come from Chennai for audit. He was strolling on the
platform as the officer was sipping a glass of hot Aavin milk. When he watching
the beautiful girls waiting to board the Yercaud Express and blessing them to
have a prosperous life with a heave of big sigh, she was coming in front of
him. It was the moment Subbuni felt that the purpose of his life had just been
fulfilled. It was only on that platform Subbuni could understand why God had
given him eyes. She was walking towards him like a well-built horse, walking as
if the entire universe was on her feet. He felt being tied up and pulled by her
hair fluttering in the air. The cooling glass hiding the half of her face made
him burn with heat. When she went past him, the air around her carried her
scent. He followed her as if he had been possessed by her spirit. He walked
along with her attendant who was walking behind her with her luggage on
his head. However, it was the beauty of her buttocks that pulled him forward
now.
He was so besotted with her beauty that he couldn’t
even hear when his officer called him out. She stood in front of the air
conditioned coach and was enquiring something from the coachman. At once he
signalled her to come in, she jumped into the coach. She stood, and threw her
eyes for a second towards the direction where Subbuni was standing. That moment…That
very moment was enough for Subbuni to live his whole life.
Wiping his sweat, Subbuni asked the attendant who was pushing
her boxes inside the coach, “who’s this lady?”
The attendant looked down on Subbuni, and remarked
with a discourteous tone, “Don’t you know her? She is actress Deva Manohari”
He stood there watching the closed door. He peeked
through the glasses only to find nothing beyond the curtains. He searched for
her name in the list of passengers, which was not yet fully dried pasted on the
coach. Her name was not in the list. Thinking of meeting her, when he tried to
get into the coach his officer came there, put his hands around his neck.
“I am here, Subbuni”
Embarrassed, Subbuni picked up his box he was holding
in his hands. “This coach is yours. Isn’t sir? Please come with me”, he boarded
the coach.
“Subbuni, this is A1 coach. I need to board A2 coach.
Just next to this. Please come out. We can go there.”- His officer started
walking.
“We can go to your coach from this coach too, sir”-
his words didn’t fall into officer’s ears.
After putting down the luggage at his berth, the
officer turned to him with a smile and gave his hand to Subbuni for a gentle
shake. Without even responding to his gesture, when Subbuni jumped out of the
train, he could only hear the siren sound of the train. The green light signal
came alive at a distance and the Yercaud Express started leaving the platform.
Subbuni ran along the A1 coach. He searched for his
angel’s face through the lit, square shaped windows. When he reached the end of
platform, the train had already gained its full speed.
….
“Beauty would find its actual meaning only in her. I
couldn’t even move an inch away from there. I was standing as if I was in
trance. I even thought of boarding another train to go to Chennai. It took very
long for me to regain my composure. I wanted to gather information about the
reason for her visit. I went to Gobi very next day morning. My assumption was
correct-she had come for a film shoot. I enquired when she would come again.
She is coming again on tenth of next month and would stay in Emarald hotel. I
found all these photos in the magazines”
Subbuni was speaking without break. He had already
taken a firm decision that he would wait at Erode railway station on the tenth
day morning of next month. He further informed that he would apply for leave
and go to Gobi.
All four of us agreed unanimously that we had accepted
Deva Manohari as our ‘female deity’ after a sumptuous feast of barotta at
Ramasami mess. On the tenth day evening we were all eagerly waiting for
Subbuni. As we didn’t receive any information from him, we forgot it.
After a week, Subbuni called us on a Saturday evening
and told us to assemble at the loom house. Guaranteed feast of pepper chicken
rendered all of us incapable of rejecting his call.
When we met him at the loom house, we found him with
an increased girth. New dresses. Shiny shoes in legs. Gold coated wrist watch.
He was looking completely a changed person.
“It’s all because of our female deity’s
graciousness...da”- he took out a cashew cake from a carton box, gave it to
them.
“Is what you say true?” Selvarasu came near, with his
washed hands, as precaution.
“I went to Gobi on the tenth day morning. Pariyur
Amman temple was the location of film shoot. I was able to see her very
closely. My heavens! What a beauty! I forgot even the burning sun light. No
hunger. I simply kept on devouring her. Whatever she did had an element of
elegance in it. My heart started longing for her nearness as my appreciation
grew more and more and even wanted to leave along with her. I went to the chap
who I met on that day in railway station and started enquiring about her. I
gave him the album I made and requested him to hand it over to her. He gave it
to her during the break. Overwhelmed with the tremendous amount of anxiety, I
started sweating seeing her glancing it. It seemed that she liked it very much.
That man gestured towards me to come near. I was trembling as I went near to
her. She was smiling as she was watching her pictures and kept saying ‘good’,
‘good’. After glancing all the pictures she looked up, and asked me, “What is
your name?” I couldn’t tell my name. To be very right, I couldn’t recollect my
name. I stammered, told her something. She smiled at me. All I remember is that
I kept telling her ‘I am the leader of her fan club in the village. I like you
very much and you are our female deity’. For my every utterance, she just gave
out a smile. You must have watched her smiling! Aiyo…no matter how much
property you own. You could very well mortgage every penny of it for her
smile.”
It was extremely difficult task to pull Subbuni out of
those moments of his intense fantasy.
“It’s alright. What happened after that? It is
unbearable to see your drooling face” Selvarasu asked him, annoyed with his
intemperance.
“I asked her if I could take a snap along with her.
Initially I was seriously afraid of her response. She didn’t say anything. She
stood beside me and gave a pose for a snap”, Subbuni touched his left shoulder softly
and told, “She stood this close. What a scent! What an ecstasy!” and he closed
his eyes.
Angappan took out the pictures from the brown colour
cover. What Subbuni had told them was true. Deva Manohari, smiling, was
standing close to Subbuni in green churidars and twin plaits tied with red
ribbons.
“You have done it…maple” Angappan gave his hand
to Subbuni enthusiastically. Other three threw a frowning stare at him. ‘What
has this bugger planned to do next?’
Subbuni didn’t stop with that. He continued, “The film
shoot will go on for another one week. I won’t watch the shooting standing at
the corner. An exclusive chair has been arranged for her and an umbrella for
proving her shade”. When he paused for a while, Selvarasu asked him teasingly,
“You will stand beside her holding these. Won’t you?”
Subbuni had long ago become so insensitive to all such
insinuations. He smiled at him and told, “I will stand where she sits. No one
would say anything about it”- he said proudly.
“What about you attending to office?”
“Office…what office! Despite putting our labour these
many years there, did we get rewarded for it? These four days…are the finest
part of our life. It is enough daa”- we couldn’t bring him down from the
exalted mood of fantasy he was floating.
“You all can come tomorrow. We can take a picture with
our female deity. We can enlarge it and display during the Pongal festival”
Mathesh was not interested in all the gimmicks of
Subbuni and told, “You will never lose anything Maple…you have a job in
hand…that too a government job. It doesn’t matter whether you go to office or
not, you will get your salary. Our case is different. They won’t leave us from
the loom.”
Selvarasu flung his beedi, and told, “See Subbuni…we
guys don’t have patience for all these. You take photograph with her. It will
serve the purpose”. He lifted his dhoti and went near to datura bushes.
Subbuni jumped off the veranda, wiped his cooling
glass, curled his lips and told them, “I thought it is a very good opportunity
for you all. I just brought it to your attention because none of you should
come with a complaint in future that I should have informed you about it in
advance. That is it. Rest is your choice”
“Don’t wear this this glass in the dark. You may hit
the bricks of loom house” Angappan patted Subbuni’s shoulder teasingly.
“It is none of your business folks! I would wear it
even while sleeping”- he looked at the sky and tried to smile at his joke.
Unable to bear him we closed our eyes instinctively. He left the spot, ringing
the cycle bell but stood suddenly and remarked:
“I forgot to tell you. This week no movie”- Only after
he disappeared in the darkness informing this, we could realise that watch porn
film fell due that week.
Selvarasu flung the last piece of bidi, and spat in
contempt in the direction Subbuni had left.
…
After one month, we could meet him only in Erode
Natesan hospital.
It was one Sunday morning. News reader Saroj
Narayanasamy had just started his morning news at quarter past seven in the
radio. While making the tufts for the completed shawls, Mathesh came running,
panting, wiped the sweat on his face and told, “Subbuni has been hospitalised”
I couldn’t understand what he said. I got up and went
near to him and asked, “What happened?”
“He fought with Komaru. That was why….”- still he was
gasping.
I wasn’t shocked at hearing this as I was accustomed
with such incidents earlier. Couple of times before this, they fought with each
other, got their head broken and went to hospital.
“Nothing to wonder in this matter. Leave it. Who’s the
doctor?”
Subbuni used to visit Dr Pushpakala, who was running a
clinic near Theradi Street. ‘If you want to take an injection, better be it
from a lady doctor’- he used to justify his visit to her clinic.
But Mathesh nodded his head in denial. “No…they have
taken him to Erode government hospital. Are you coming with me Machaan?”
I took off my lungi, threw it and picked a pant
randomly, wore it and ran along with him to the hospital. Angappan and
Selvarasu were waiting for us. ‘Angaiyarkanni’ bus came with its slow pace.
Once jumped into the bus, Selvarasu went to the driver and requested him, “We
need to reach the hospital soon. It is very urgent. Our Subbuni has been
hospitalised”
The driver bent his head a bit, glanced at Selvarasu
through the rear view mirror and told him “The time for this bus to reach Erode
is half past ten. Neither should I reach before that nor after that. Tell me an
instance when Angaiyarkanni was not punctual. We can reach at sharp half past
ten. Now go to your seat and sit” looking at his wrist watch with his corner
eyes.
Left out with no other option, I sat down and asked
“Does anyone know what had exactly happened?”
The problem had actually started in the morning.
Subbuni was eating ‘Ooty Varkki’ dipping it into half a litre of hot
coffee kept in a large kettle. Komaru tossed a cassette on sofa so that Subbuni
would see it. Subbuni, busy in swallowing Varkki pieces dipped in coffee did
not pay attention to it. Komaru told him to play the cassette on Saturday that
week. Subbuni stared at the cassette on sofa once, lifted his head and laughed
with his heart out like Veerappa. (The old Tamil villain actor). The
curly, springs like hair on his shoulder and chest moved up and down along with
his laughter. He, then, looked at the old woman who was sitting in the veranda busy
segregating the wild coxcomb leaves from winnow, and said “Just check ma…the
sky might get dark rain clouds today”, and laughed.
She looked up, understood the brewing enmity between
them. She remained silent and got busy again with segregating the greens.
Komaru went to his mother as he tied his dhoti tightly
on his waist. “Listen to me ma…This deity is very special. You can’t afford
lose this opportunity. Take my words seriously” he told her as he combed his
hair with his fingers looking at the mirror.
“If the movie is that special, you watch it. Why are
you begging others to watch it?” the old woman said. Subbuni turned to him and
laughed at him again.
Komaru got angry with the old woman. Subbuni picked up
the kettle and threw it to the wash basin in the corner of the kitchen. Gargled
there and threw his whole weight freely on the sofa. He opened the Cinema
Express magazine which he bought the previous night, glancing at the cassette
with disdain. In the centre blow up, his female deity was standing elegantly
with the both hands on her waist. He relished her pose inch by inch, bringing
it near his eyes and then at a distance, and the tried to remove the pin from
the middle page, rolling up his lips as if removing pin might hurt his female
deity.
Two pictures were already decking the entrance of his
room. A large picture on the door. It was a special edition blow-up published
in newspaper on Diwali. The pictures of his female deity were decking up both
inside and outside of his room in different sizes, big or small.
As he was ready with the blow-up after carefully
removing it from the magazine, he looked for a space to paste it.
“He is a fool, fond of pasting the pictures of unknown
women on the walls. But you…old lady…what has stopped you objecting to it?”
Komaru shouted at the old woman.
“Yeiii….mind your words. If you don’t mind it, you
will have to face its consequences” Subbuni rolled his eyes wide, coiled his
lips and warned him sternly.
“I will object to it if you paste them in the house.
Don’t intimidate me with your eyes. If you have something burning in your
loins, paste them in your room. Why are you spoiling the house?”
“Yeii old lady. This bloke talks too much. Warn him
not to cross his limits”
The old woman got up and went to the front of house as
if nothing went into her ears. She knew it well that would end up in a bloody
fight.
“No point in boasting too much of yourself. Is it
clear? Play this cassette and see yourself how your female deity is dancing
without dress” said Komaru and laughed derisively.
That was it. It was just flick of a second before the
hell broke loose. Subbuni turned reflexively. He gently tossed the picture he
was holding onto the sofa and pounced on Komaru and gave a strong kick on his
waist. As he fell down, Subbuni started throwing punches on him with his fists.
Stumbled with his sudden attack, Komaru managed push Subbuni away from him by
folding his legs. Subbuni, with his wet body, fell on his side. Komaru got up,
tied his dhoti tightly on his waist and kicked Subbuni. As he crawled on floor,
Subbuni caught Komaru’s ankle and bit his calf muscles with beastly frenzy.
Unable to bear the pain, Komaru caught Subbuni’s curly hairs and pulled towards
him. Subbuni left Komaru’s ankle, and hit the latter’s stomach with his head.
As Komaru fell on the corner of sofa, Subbuni sprang up, and sat on him. All
four hands were trying to hold something in the air and moved frantically in
air to attack each other. Both rolled on the floor, intertwining their legs.
Subbuni’s body was gleaming with sweat and crumps of cow dung from the floor.
As they were trying to subdue the other with the forceful swings of their
hands, Komaru was lying on the floor and Subbuni was sitting on him. He brought
his head backwards to throw it forward with full speed. His objective was to
hit Komaru’s face. But after seeing Komaru’s curved nose, he changed his mind,
opened his mouth wide as he bent down, bit Komaru’s nose in full. Komaru didn’t
expect this novel attack in the fight. He summoned up his strength and pushed
Subbuni away from him and Subbuni also released his teeth from Komaru’s nose as
he didn’t like its taste. In a second later, Subbuni’s ear was in Komaru’s
mouth. As both the biter and bitten were yelling at the peak of pain in high
pitch, their deaf mother Muththal came there running. Her anger knew no bounds
seeing her sons rolling on the floor staining the floor with their blood. She
saw the wet wood planks kept outside for drying and picked one of them and went
near to the rolling bodies. Without wasting a second, she thrashed them both
indiscriminately.
When their neighbour Ramatha came running to them
after their sounds of cry and scream reached her, she found one of them
covering his nose and the blood was streaking out from his body as the prickles
of wood plank tore his skin. Another one was standing covering his ears. Blood
droplets on the floor. While going out from the scene of fight along with deaf
Muththal arm supporting her, Ramatha flung two pieces of wood planks to each
one of them and told, “Now hit each other. No one will come to you to ask why”
Subbuni went to Dr Pushpakala with blood streaking in
his ear. It was she who had sent him to Erode.
….
Subbuni right ear was covered with a bandage. He was
watching television, lying cross legged on the cot and chomping an apple. On
seeing us, he showed us the television screen enthusiastically. Their female
deity was dancing voluptuously, in skin tight costume.
“Look at her. What a dance!” he remarked.
I grew angry at Komaru at that time for he shouldn’t
have bitten Subbuni’s ears.
Angappan took out an apple from the almirah, bit it
and asked, “Maple...who has that cassette now?”
Subbuni threw a frowning stare at him. “Leave it
maple…he had already been snubbed of his pride. Why are you fuelling it more?”
Mathesh laughed.
“It is okay…Does your female deity know that your ear
has been bitten for her sake?” Selvarasu teased him, sitting on the cot.
Subbuni folded his legs.
“Maple…leave aside your petty talks. Next week I am
leaving for Chennai. Have a glance of it” he took out a blue colour cover under
the pillow.
“Why Maple…your torn ear can be stitched only in
Chennai. Right?” Angappan stood at a safe distance commenting this.
“Nothing good will never occur in your mind. Won’t it?
You beggars! Our female deity’s birthday falls next week. I got this invitation
to attend her birthday”
Filled with zest, Subbuni opened the blue colour
envelope and showed them a paper, taken from it. It was an invitation card
designed in lines and flowers. Added to it was there the signature of their
female deity in blue ink.
Mathesh intently looked at the card, visibly
struggling to suppress the fire of jealousy building up inside. Yes…it is true.
It is an invitation. “It is nice to get an invitation. But how could you go
there to attend the function with your torn ear?” he remarked.
Subbuni seemed to have forgotten all his anger, and
long ago buried his resentment too. “No…the bandage seems to be big. I can remove it in two days. This is not a
matter of any serious concern. Is it? Even if my life hangs on a thread, it
will leave me only after watching my female deity’s birthday. You guys won’t
understand it. Will you?”
…
Leaving his heart behind in front of his female
deity’s home in Chennai, Subbuni returned home with his mortal body. He avoided
talking to anyone, nor liked to face anyone and preferred confining himself
within the house. We also waited for him to break his silence, to come out of
house whenever he wanted.
It was the day of Aadi Velli. When we were busy
enticing the God for our longevity on the steps of the Hill Temple, listening
to the jingling sounds of young girls in half sari, Muththal came in front of
us.
“My dear boys…You know he has confined himself in the
house. You can go there and ask him about his problems. Can’t you? Neither does he go to work nor come out. What
happened to him?”
Mathesh took out a coconut from her basket, rolling it
in his hands and asked her, “He doesn’t come out even for food. Does he?”
She smeared Vibhoothi on Mathesh’s forehead and said,
“You an ignoramus! He never misses food even for one time. He doesn’t like to come
out of the house. That is it. You all can go to him to see what it is”
Deaf Muththal left us. We went to Subbuni, knocked at
his room door. It was kept opened.
It was pity to see him rolling up his whole body like
a bear in that dark room. Once the light fell upon him, he got up furiously.
His bed was strewn with some torn papers.
“Why the hell did you all come here? He roared.
Mathesh took the papers from his bed, looked surprised
and asked him curiously, “This is our female deity’s photo. Isn’t it?”
Subbuni snatched that paper from his hand, still with
burning anger, and further tore into tiny pieces.
“No one is our female deity here. Anyone dancing to
the whims of people giving her money can never be our female deity. I will kick
on your mouth if you say again that she is our female deity. Get out of my
sight”- Subbuni was still burning with rage.
Selvarasu brought him out, reassuringly holding his
shoulders. Subbuni was looking emaciated with his unshaven beard of some days.
“Go, wash your face first. We can discuss other
matters later”
He went to wash his face, unwillingly though. He
peeked into the kitchen. His old mother hadn’t come yet.
“What happened to you” You went to Chennai and then
after no update from you. You have torn her photos. Tell us what had exactly happened?”
Subbuni started crying as if he was just waiting for
that right moment to pour out his heart. He rubbed his eyes and cried, twisting
his face. No one went near to him. No one had died in that house to console him
by hugging him. After all Subbuni was such a ‘good’ person anyway, to clean his
running nose on someone’s shirt while hugging.
Angappan somehow managed to stop him crying. “It is
alright… Machan…I could understand it is damn miserable. You can tell
everything now. If you keep everything in your heart, it will burden you
anyway. Wont it?”
Subbuni had gone to Chennai with heart filled zeal
anyway. The feast was arranged in a star hotel. But he was denied entry despite
his possession of invitation card. As they believed that such a shabby fellow
couldn’t have been invited to that party, they removed him immediately from
that spot. He was standing with a meek expectation that if he could meet his
female deity, she would hold his hands and take him inside. As he had expected,
a car carrying his female deity went past him. His deity was sitting in the
front seat. She saw him standing on corner. He waved his hands at her. It was
just not more than a second he took a step to jump to reach her, his deity
waved her hands at him and turned her head. He went behind the car, running,
crying with his lips crooked but in vain as the car vanished from the spot.
It appeared that he hadn’t yet pulled his lips inward
which got crooked in Chennai.
Mathesh clapped his hands, laughed to his heart’s
content. Angappan, unable to control his laughter ran to nearby lane. Only
Selvarasu assuaged Subbuni with the appeal of an elderly person’s maturity.
“These kinds of experiences are not new to us. Are they? You will spoil your
health if you allow yourself to be affected by such petty things. Just give a
thought to it. Haven’t you ever faced such a similar situation before?”
Subbuni went inside the kitchen, feigning as if he was
seriously thinking about what Selvarasu said. Rattling sound of kitchenware was
heard.
He came out with a box full of spicy puffed rice, put
some ‘mixture’ he kept in a bundle in it and mixed them with his hand.
“Take it. It seems to be bought from the market
yesterday. Just a while ago I saw it. While putting a handful of puffed rice in
to his mouth, a peanut from it fell down. He picked it and placed it on his
palm.
“No big deal about it. I was just down with it. That’s
why I was away from you all” Subbuni smiled, embarrassingly.
“They didn’t even give you entry. Then why all these
worries?” Angappan took a handful of puffed rice and put it in his palm.
Subbuni’s face got contracted suddenly. He grabbed the
puffed rice box and kept between legs. He looked at all three and told,
“Listen! I watched a movie a couple of days ago. That actress is the top-rated actress
in Telugu movies now. You can even lift her up with one hand. Very, very slim.
She hasn’t yet acted in Tamil movies yet. But she will”- he paused, then
brooded over for some time. We were waiting for him to resume without even batting
our eye lids. Despite knowing what he was going to say next, we were waiting
for the delivery of words from his mouth, wearing innocence on our faces. It
became sure that we would all be served with Ramasamy shop’s barotta
today.
“Machan…she is our next female deity daa…”
***Ended***
Note:
1. A legendary Tamil actor who acted in a movie
called Navarathiri in nine roles.
2. Vandicakkaram- Cartwheel, a movie in which
yester year Tamil actor Sivakumar featured as a ruffian and carefree young man)
