Fruits of Misery (Thunba Kani) by M. Gopala Krishnan

M. Gopala Krishnan

This is an English translation of Thunba Kani, a Tamil short story written by M. Gopala Krishnan. Translated into English by Saravanan Karmegam.  

                                                                 ….                                                                 ….

Guna hesitantly entered the room, which seemed to have been filled with thick shadows of gloom. He stared at Yugan’s face in the dim blue light. It resembled the face of the infant Jesus glowing with peace and a grin. Watching him keenly, he bent towards his face and observed his chest pit closely. He tried to observe the movement of his breath. Guna’s fingers trembled when he brought them near to the boy’s nostrils. Moments of silence. He was waiting with an overwhelming anxiety for his breath. A streak of warm breath went past the tips of his fingers. He was relaxed, rose, and released the breath that he had had been holding up till now and started observing the boy’s chest again. ‘Yes… it is moving.’ It went up but came down only after an interval of irregular gaps.

When he felt vaguely that the child was alive, his chest heaved with a strong sob. Biting his lips in distress, he touched the Bible kept near the pillow, drew the cross across his chest, and came out without making any sound. The distress built up in him burst into an inconsolable sob.

He was standing in front of the portrait of Jesus Christ carrying lambs in his hands. ‘O! Lord! I thank you for giving this child one more day. Bless him to pass this day too without pain and torment. He is just another lamb that has taken refuge in your hands. Save him from his miseries.’

“Tell me what is special today?” he heard Archana coming from behind. Wiping his eyes, he turned back and saw her approaching him, eyes filled with curiosity. Guna was aware of what she was asking. He had been being nagged by the same question since last night. Yet, he asked her as if he wasn’t aware of it, “Today? It’s Friday. Isn’t it right?”

“You don’t remember anything. Do you? You are only good at remembering your office chores. Today is August 14. Pakistan’s Independence Day. I hope now you remember what it is today.” She looked up at his face eagerly. He shook his head gently, affirming it was Yugan’s birthday.

“This is the birthday dress he loved most, Shaktiman attire,” she said, opened the box, and took it out. She bought it three years ago. The scent of that dress in blue and red hadn’t even faded yet.

In seconds, she started sobbing, pursing her lips. “I couldn’t see him wearing this even once. It is not possible in the future too. Isn’t it? She broke down before she could complete her sentence.

He pulled her gently towards him and hugged her. The lock of hair escaped her plait and was swaying in the air, stroking his face. As her warm tears rolled down his chest, he lifted her face and wiped her tears—the face that had lost its sheen and looked dark with thick dark circles under the eyes. Hollowed cheeks have not yet lost their dryness of tears. She asked him with her dried lips shivering, “What number—his birthday—is today?”

‘Eight years over, and it is the start of the ninth year.’ “He has completed his eight years.”

She looked at his face as if waiting for him to complete what was destined for them next. He wouldn’t be able to tell her that. Despite knowing it, she asked him, “How old is he now?”

Guna shook his head emptily. She caught his shoulder as he tried turning his face away from her.

“Tell me that first before you leave,” she shrieked in a high pitch.

As he gazed into her face, she slapped him on his cheek, caught his hair, shook it violently, and shouted, “Tell me his age. How old is my child today?”

He pushed her hands away, unable to bear the pain of the slap. She was about to fall down.

He caught hold of her before she fell on the floor. She sat on the floor, hand supported, and moved slowly towards the door, pushing his hands away from her in anger.

“All children will be nine after eight. But for our child, it is now three after completing four. Is that right?” Her anger had become manifold.

He remained silent. She pulled him towards her when he was least prepared, folded her fists, and pummelled on his chest angrily. His shirt buttons came out and scattered all around, leaving him wounded by her untrimmed nails.

“Why did you punish my child like this?” She shrieked in desperation, crying, coupled with anger. “Why am I not able to celebrate my child’s birthday like other children? What the hell did you do that had left me suffering daily without even knowing if he is alive or not?” She cried inconsolably, slapping her breasts as her welled-up tears rolled down her cheeks.

                                                                       ***

“How many times do I have to tell you not to pull it forcibly?” Archana shouted at Guna, holding her hair tightly.

“Please bear with it. It is completely tangled. It’s been one week since I made plaits after you had a head bath.” Guna was patiently combing her hair.

“Enough of it, as decking it more gets me nothing. The child may wake up”—she got up and pulled her hair from him. It was less dense with more grey strands.

“It was swaying up to my waist. Wasn’t Guna? You would lovingly call it ‘black casuarina.’ Wouldn’t you? - She glanced at him with a smile, shook her head, and left at once.

“Wait a second.” He clenched her hand, stopped her, and fixed a vermilion sticker on her forehead.

She stared at him intrusively. “I am sorry. This much trouble is all because of me. Right? You shouldn’t have met me. You wouldn’t have faced these troubles, like giving me a bath and combing my hair like you do to small children. Would you? ”. Tears welled up in her eyes. 

Guna wiped her face and told him, “You can have your food now before he wakes up.”

Wiping her tears, she stood under the portrait of Jesus Christ. ‘All my sincere prayers mean nothing other than taking his life as soon as possible.’ She stood as if in a trance, hands folded together. Her lips were shivering.

It was when Yugan screamed as if he was waiting for that right moment.

Guna ran out of the kitchen, and Archana screamed, following him, “O! Jesus!...” racing to Yugan.

With his head pulled behind and body contorted, Yugan was lying there, still screaming. Guna sat beside him and pulled Yugan’s shoulder on his side. Like a flash, Yugan caught Guna’s hands, climbed onto him, and shrieked as he pressed his face onto Guna’s shoulders. Guna tried to calm him down, “You will be alright,” as he stroked Yugan’s back, bearing his whole body weight on him. As his screaming shot up, his hands cuddling Guna’s neck tightened their grip more.

Caressing Yugan’s head endearingly, Archana’s eyes were welled up with tears, and her lips trembled with chants. ‘O! Jesus! Be not angry on him; be not harsh on him; don’t punish him. My Lord! Show some mercy. I am already tired. All my bones have become weak. Heal it and bless me.

At the very moment Yugan’s screaming stopped, Guna emitted a sharp, violent shriek. Yugan’s teeth were half buried on Guna’s shoulder, as he had bitten so hard with all his might. The pain was so unbearable that Guna almost lost the balance of his senses.

Guna tried pushing him away. Yugan left his shoulder once, pounced upon him again, and bit.

“Guna…leave him…just leave him down.” Archana yelled at him and pulled Yugan back.

“You are alright, baby… you’re alright…” Guna stroked Yugan’s back, trying to calm him down, and gently pulling him away. No sooner had Yugan lifted his head, nothing short of a second, than he started jerking it violently. Guna had him lain on the cot when Yugan loosened his grip on his body. Yugan’s hands were waving in the air, looking terribly restive. Guna wiped the frothy saliva on the corner of his mouth. His whole body started calming down slowly from its initial dreadful shaking. Guna wiped the sweat on his forehead with a small towel and gently massaged his neck and hands.

“Now he is okay… He is alright now.”

Archana sat beside him, made a sign of the cross on Yugan’s forehead, and ran her hand fondly on his face. 

“He will be asleep soon. He is alright now, told Guna, rose from his seat.

Archana kept staring at Guna’s shoulder. There were two tiny blood droplets on the spot where he was bitten. She went out, still her lips shivering with some chants, and brought some ointment.

“I shouldn’t apply this without properly washing the wound. I will apply after sanitising it. You may leave him now…”

“No…let me stay with him.” - She sat with the Bible on her lap.

‘My Lord! How much longer do I have to bear this suffering? You are merciful; release me from this misery. My bed floats on tears every night. My cot drenches in tears of sob. My eyes are swollen in my gloom. Oh! All those vices and evils! Leave me. 

…..

Christopher Gunaseelan was standing on a small podium of the Sports Club of the office with his head bowing down and holding his hands together. His colleagues were sitting in front of him, looking at his face. Other than the sound of ceiling fans, no other sound was heard there. It was an unusual meeting in which all the officers, attendants, and support staff were called upon to assemble in one place.

Some of them were perplexed as to know whether the person in front of them was actually standing in his capacity as the secretary of the club or as the Assistant Regional Manager. As a secretary of the club, Gunaseelan never ceased to be a very cheerful man. He was very amiable in nature to get along with anyone he came across. But as a manager in the office, he was just like a roaring lion. Even his regular walk without any signs of hurry would leave its effect on his colleagues. Neither would he shout at anyone nor throw away any files in their face in anger. Just a stern look from him would be sufficient to get all the work done in time.

To be right, they were sitting, visibly embarrassed to see him standing with his hands folded. Everyone wanted that meeting to be over at the earliest. Though he didn’t say anything about his problems, everyone knew about the torment he was undergoing at his home.

“My dear friends, I sincerely thank you all for coming over here at my request. You all know well why I have called you here. I should have met every one of you personally with this request. As I am not in favour of doing that, I decided to meet everyone personally at one place. This meeting is intended for seeking help from you all. I may have been very harsh with you in the office or could have caused hurt in some. I am much younger to most of my colleagues here. I sincerely request you all not to keep any such grudge in your hearts and help my family to breeze through the problems.”

He halted his speech for a moment, as he felt a mild tremor in his voice. A brief silence followed. Everyone appeared to have shared his anxiety.

“My son, Yugan, is an eight-year-old boy. Most of you know him well. You could have seen him during the functions of our club and picnics. He had performed on this podium, singing and dancing.” Again, his speech halted for a second. He drank a gulp of water from the bottle kept nearby. “Today is his birthday. He is lying on the bed seeking the blessings of Jesus Christ.

I am hopeful that Jesus would never abandon his children. I am afraid that he had mistakenly handed over the wages of my sins to my son instead of giving it to me. He is a small child. He deserves pity. He is lying, unable to move his limbs like a toy at this age when he ought to be an exuberant kid. All that he knows now is nothing other than pain and torments, leading a life in hell. I have tried my best to get him cured. As it is a congenital disease, no medical miracle had any effect on him. It is a complex riddle not yet resolved by modern science. I am miserably failing in my efforts to assuage my wife, Archana. After all, she is his mother. I am running short of words to get her strong. It is now you could all only help me in this crisis. Jesus seems to be not paying heed to my prayers. I request all of you to pray for me. Perhaps He might heed your collective prayers. If I am a sinner, let him punish me, but spare that small child. You may worship different gods of your choice. You may follow different faiths. Please pray to your gods and faiths. Pray a minute for Yugan and Archana. All I want from you is nothing more than this. I beseech you to spare a minute for praying for both of them. I will remain ever grateful to you all.”

He was standing with his head looking down, not crying, and was strong enough to conceal his emotions. Many of them sitting in the front were crying, and apparently the number of women crying grew, and their whimpers filled in the hall.

In an effort to get the ambience normal, the secretary got up and announced, “Let us pray for Yugan.”

Everyone stood up, folded their hands, and prayed. Guna was standing, head still looking down.

…

It was on that day, when Yugan returned from the school, that the shadow of impending miseries also accompanied him into the house. It had been just a couple of months since he joined his first grade. Keeping his school bag, he remained lying on his bed and didn’t come out of the room. Archana called out to him after keeping his food ready, “Kuttimaa…have your food.” As she didn’t get any reply from him, she peeked into the bedroom. He was lying there, curling his body. She touched his forehead and asked him, “Kutti…are you tired?” Her fingers could feel that he had a high temperature.

She inserted a thermometer under his armpit to ascertain her suspicion of him having a fever. Seconds later, the mercury displayed 102 degrees. She called Guna on the telephone, but to no avail. With a wet kerchief, she gave a cold compress on his forehead, fed him a measured amount of Crocin syrup, and phoned her husband up again. He didn’t pick up her calls.

She then dialled Dr. Sathya’s number and informed her about Yugan’s condition. She tried to wake him up. His fever had come down due to sweating. She changed his dress and gave him “Boost” to drink. He couldn’t drink it. He lay weak, curled his body while going by auto rickshaw to meet the doctor.

When she reached the hospital, he had a high temperature again. Thermometer showed 102 again. After the initial check-up, Dr. Sathya told her, “Seems to be an ordinary fever. I will give him an injection before keeping him under observation. Have you informed Anna?”

“I phoned him up, but he was not available. If he calls me back after seeing my missed calls, I will explain everything to him. I had left my home as it was, unattended,” told Archana, as she was conspicuously worried about the condition of her son.

When Guna arrived at the hospital at seven in the evening, Sathya couldn’t explain him the exact cause of the problem. “All the tests—blood and urine—are over. There is no sign of infection. It is not due to food poisoning either. But I fail to understand why his fever hasn’t decreased. Let’s wait and see.”

Other hospital formalities, like medicines, tests, and consultations done confusingly one after the other, had left Archana totally petrified.

The next day, Guna left home as he had some important work in the office and could return home only in the night. Yugan could move his body a bit at about half past eight in the night after two full days ever since he fell sick, lying immobile without even opening his eyes. He now had no temperature. Archana was in prayer, with her eyes closed.

‘My Lord! How much longer will you keep me away from you? How many more days are you going to hide your face from me? How many more days will I be fighting my torments myself?’

Archana sprang up suddenly, almost jerked, as she heard a feeble sound, ‘Amma…’ coming out of Yugan’s dry, cracked lips. Unable to believe her eyes seeing her son wake up, she screamed reflexively, “Kuttima…look here… Mummy is here.”

While returning home the next morning, Yugan complained, “I didn’t attend the school for two days. Did I? My class teacher will scold me, ma. Won’t she?”

Archana’s fears left soon after Yugan started having two morsels of rice mixed in rasam. While seeing him playing cricket that evening, Archana thanked Jesus, ‘My Lord! You are the shield of my life. You are my virtue. You are the one who holds my head up. Thank you. 

***

One day, after two months—when they were returning from a Sunday prayer in the second week of October—Yugan started crying again. Sitting in the front seat of the car, he whined and complained that he had severe pain in his body.

“Stomach ache? Did you relieve yourself properly in the morning?” Guna asked without taking his eyes away from the road.

Archana caught his shoulder gently and said, “You may be hungry. Once you have your food at home after we reach, you will be alright.”

“It is paining me…” He twisted his body and cried.

While entering the house after alighting from the car, Yugan caught Guna’s legs and said, “Pa… it is paining. Please lift me, pa…”

As soon as he lifted him after opening the door, Yugan hugged Guna strongly. His hands tightened their grip around his neck. Guna massaged his back, trying to calm him down. Yugan had a temperature again. It appeared that the pain had taken over his body completely.

Sathya didn’t stop with the regular tests this time. “I feel something is going wrong in his case. I am unable to ascertain anything now. I have consulted my senior surgeon about this problem. I had my reservations about it when he recovered last time because his recovery didn’t hold answers to all my suspicions. When I told about it to my senior doctor, he was of the opinion that we would assess it later if his fever recurs. Now he has body pain along with fever. Let Archanna not know anything about it now. She would get panicked unnecessarily.”

On the third evening, when they returned home, the pain had reduced. He left for school the next morning as usual, and Archana also forgot it.

On the other hand, Guna still remained in contact with Sathya because he was very much worried after she had told him that some reports were awaited from Mumbai, and she could say anything certain about Yugan’s condition only after a scrutiny of those reports. 

He was unable to concentrate on the Sunday prayer at the church.

‘The skies are manifesting the magnificence of the God. The expanse of the sky explains the wonderful artwork of God. Each day passes this message to the next day. Each night passes this wisdom to the forthcoming night. It doesn’t have words, nor talk. Their voice would never fall into our ears’ —his lips were emptily murmuring them.

As he got busy with his office work, it almost went out of his mind that he didn’t receive any call from Sathya. When he met her on another occasion, she told him with a friendly grin, “Sorry, Guna… I was busy with some work. Those lab test reports had come pretty earlier. I would have told you if I had found something wrong with it. Wouldn’t I have? Now there's nothing to worry about. You may inform Archana about it.”

Guna remained unconvinced with her words even after she sounded positive. He couldn’t concentrate in the Carrom board game. As a regular winner of trophies, Guna’s pathetic performance in the game left everyone astonished.

He was watching Yugan consecutively for some days, quite unlike his regular casual observation, only to find nothing unusual in his behaviour. His fears and apprehensions about his health grew subsided as the days passed.

His happiness didn’t last long. He got a call from the school when the half-yearly examinations were due to commence. When he reached the school directly from his office, Yugan wasn’t in the classroom. The sickness, which seemed to be dormant and suddenly got unleashed from his leisure, had started showing its face again.

“He has been running to the toilet since morning. Something is not okay with him, I guess. When his class teacher explained, Guna heard Yugan calling him from the other side of the veranda, “Daddyyy..." He was almost dragging his body, his face looking dull.

“He couldn’t sit for the exam. It shouldn’t bother you anyway at this hour. Take him to a doctor now.” His class teacher fondly caressed his head.

No sooner had he entered the house than he ran to the toilet. Archana made a concoction of lemon water mixed with cardamom and gave it to him. He vomited as he couldn’t drink it. He ran to the toilet again. It seemed that all the liquids available in his body were drained out. His legs were tottering, and he was totally exhausted, and his eyes closed.

“Dehydration… I will give him drips. You don’t worry,” when Sathya inserted the needle in his right arm, Archana sobbed.

“My Lord! Why do you put this simple child into such a test?” she kept grumbling, praying.

Sathya assisted him to recover in a couple of hours and warned Guna, “You ought to be cautious, Guna. I wouldn’t be at the station for two days. Once I am back, I will contact you. Take care.”

He was waiting for the calls from Sathya with fear and anxiety. She called him on Tuesday. He went to her clinic while returning from the office. Guna could see the traces of change on her face even when she received him with a cheerful face.

“I wanted to convey this matter when you were here last time. Since I was not sure about what I had felt, I didn’t. We can’t say the test results received from Mumbai are final in itself. There are always some chances of results being proved wrong. What I am trying to say is that we must not come to a conclusion about Yugan’s problem at this juncture.” Her inscrutable words had, in fact, increased his anxiety.

Sathya flipped the pages of the reports and carefully studied them. She pointed at a portion of the test report printed in block letters on the last page and said, “Here is the result of his blood test. These tests are advanced tests, unlike the ones we normally do here. Only a part of it gets me worried.”

Guna became impatient. Her words sounded like something beyond his comprehension. “What does that mean?” he asked.

“Nothing big. Just a doubt. I have told them to send this sample to a lab in the USA. Let them examine it and submit the report.”

“What if they conclude the same…”

Sathya removed her specs, kept them on her table, looked at Guna, and said without mincing words, “Then we can conclude that Yugan is suffering from something very serious.”

“What type of serious is it?” Guna asked her nervously. Her heart sank with innumerable thoughts in the fractions of that second. ‘Will the countless hands of death descend as storm upon Yugan to claim his life? My Lord! Is that you want? Is that for you had given him to us?’

“Let us not be unduly concerned about it now. We will decide after the results come.”

His fingers were fidgeting with the marble ball on the table. His lips were shivering. He rose and said, “Please…just a second.” He went to the balcony and lit a cigarette with his trembling hands and drew a good amount of smoke in. He stood there staring at the stars twinkling in the sky.

He remembered a psalm: ‘The men are too petty in your world to remember in front of your magnificent creation of sky, its moon, and stars? Aren’t they?”

“Guna, let’s not come to any conclusion now. We need to observe the symptoms first. Excessive temperature, diarrhoea and body pain are some of the major symptoms. Such cases are very rare. Some doctors have done their specialisation in this subject. We can consult them. Before coming to a conclusion, please don’t tell Archana about this. When she was explaining Guna, he got a call from Archana.

“Are you still in the office? When are you coming home?” Archana sounded normal.

“I am on the way.” He hung up the phone and told Sathya, “I am getting nervous these days even at the ordinary ringing of telephones.”

***

From then onwards, Guna’s approach towards Yugan became not as the same as it used to be. He used to wake up in the night and stand near Yugan, keep staring at him. While he was frightened at anything Yugan did, he was more frightened when Yugan didn’t do anything. He called Sathya for every silly observation and sought her guidance. 

“I shouldn’t have told you anything, Guna. You get frightened even if he smiles. Don’t you? Please relax. It seems that you would make him genuinely “sick”—Sathya rebuked him.

The marks he got in math in a classroom test last week left everyone stunned. He had got fourteen out of fifty. When Archana was attributing his low marks to his sickness and the lack of concentration due to it, Guna was watching him. Yugan was examining his answer papers again and again.

“I have written the sum of eight and three twelve. How could I be that careless, Daddy?”

It didn’t stop with that alone. He couldn’t perform even the simplest tasks without making mistakes.

One day on his return from school, he fell on Guna’s lap and cried fervently. “Daddy… I am unable to remember anything. The class teacher scolds me. I couldn’t even tell her the table of three.

Guna collected all his class notebooks and scrutinised them after Yugan went to bed. All the pages he had recently used were full of underlines and multiplication marks made in red ink. His handwriting was also not as neat as it used to be earlier.

“We had already expected this symptom, Guna. Hadn’t we? All the symptoms we have witnessed so far were found on his body earlier. Now it is in his brain,” Sathya told him as she closed her laptop.

“Can’t we do anything about it?” asked Guna, despite knowing what the answer would be.

Sathya nodded her head and said, “Let us try. I am not sure about how to go about it.”

“I haven’t disclosed anything to Archana so far. How many more days could I manage it like this? What will happen next?”

She opened the laptop, switched it on, and browsed its screen calmly. Shrugging her shoulders, she heaved a big sigh and said, “It is of no use, Guna. I don’t want you to get frightened by all these. I request you not to search anything on the internet. You will be unnecessarily confused with it. Better we face it when it slaps us. Leave it now.”

Archana was sitting in prayer for a long time when Yugan had slept after two full days of sleeplessness. In her imploring voice to God, an untold fear was resonating. She sat beside him, making a cross on her chest. As though he were lying down, closing his eyes, he could feel her staring at his face.

“I could understand that you are hiding something from me.”

Guna opened his eyes as the tears fell on the back of his hands. He rose and sat.

“Please don’t get yourself stressed keeping everything within you. Do share it with me, whatever it is. I know he is not as he used to be. Don’t I? It is I who am spending more time with him daily than you. I have been with him. I could understand something is wrong with him. Couldn’t I? What did Sathya tell you? I could have asked her directly. But I don’t want it for some obvious reasons….”

Mother Mary’s face was shining with mercy in the dim blue light. ‘Do I have the courage to tell her?’

“It’s nothing. I get worried as he falls sick very frequently…” He couldn’t look into her eyes.

“His condition is not normal. He is facing difficulties even to speak. He tries to say something but couldn't, as if he got choked up. You know what is actually ailing him. Please tell me what it is. I couldn’t stand beyond this point. I can face whatever it is.” She got up and went near to the portrait of Mother Mary. Her fingers drew a cross.

Guna came out and stood near the Jesus Christ’s portrait. Archana, standing near to him caught his hands tightly.

***

Sathya came to Guna with her Dettol-cleaned hands, wiping them, and touched his shoulder and told:

“Could you take off your shirt?”

He looked up, stunned at her words, and retorted, “What?”

“You mustn’t ask questions to the doctor. Do what I say.

“I am not your patient who has come to you for treatment. Keep your fun with you. Why do you ask me this?”

As she pressed his shoulder with her fingers where she was touching, Guna moved a bit. “It is painful. Isn’t it? This is the reason why I asked you to take off your shirt. Let me examine it.”

“It is not a big issue. Only a small wound. I have applied some ointment. I will be alright,” he said.

“It is an injury that deserves a medical examination. Isn’t it? She insisted.

Guna unbuttoned his shirt and took it off. She examined his back as he sat on the chair. They found two blood-clotted bruises from teeth bites on his left shoulder and dark scars. Small and big marks of teeth bites were found on his right shoulder too.

She wiped those wounds with a cotton ball soaked in a warm Dettol mixture. She applied an ointment brown in colour over it and picked a vial among the medicine bottles kept on the table. As she hit its head gently with a small knife, it broke with a mild crunch and fell into the dustbin. She collected the liquid from the vial through a syringe and gently pressed its bottom to push out the air trapped inside. As some drops speckled out, she inserted the needle into his left arm.

“If I didn’t ask you about these wounds now, you would keep receiving those bite marks again. A human bite is also poisonous. Do you know it?”

“How did you come to know about them?” he asked her as he was putting on his shirt.

“I visited your home a couple of days ago. I saw you bearing these wounds on your back when you came out of the bathroom after bathing. I have read that people with these symptoms would have a tendency to bite others. But I failed to predict it in Yugan’s case. It must have been very painful for you. Mustn’t it?”

Guna thought for a moment how Yugan would bite him violently on his shoulder; seconds later, Guna lifted him on seeing him crying, writhing in pain.

“He bit me, not intentionally though. He does it due to his unbearable pain. When he did it for the first time, I used to leave him down. As I understood it later, he does it without actually being aware of it; I became so used to its pain.”

“Don’t talk foolish. When you are sure that he would bite you again, you must avoid lifting him.”

“I can’t remain quiet when he screams with unbearable pain, Sathya.”

She looked at his face intently as she sat washing her hands and told, “Periyamma came yesterday. I have informed her about this. Father has also explained it, I guess. While the condition of Yugan makes them concerned, they are so stubborn that their ego hasn’t still permitted them to come here. You are also equally stubborn and not ready to compromise. Aren’t you?”

Guna laughed. “Compromise! What sort of a compromise are you talking about? They only need me and my child. Not Archana. Is it a justifiable stand?”

Sathya adjusted the lock of her hair, glancing at the wall clock, and said, “If they remain adamant despite knowing the condition of this child, they are just incorrigible. Nothing more to say about it. Spare them in their world.”

***

‘O! Jesus! You are a good shepherd. Aren’t you? Do send someone from your reign for my help. Here lies your son on my lap seeking your mercy. Aren’t you able to hear his feeble sound of hunger? Aren’t you aware of his torments? Aren’t his painful whimpers falling into your ears? I can’t leave him on the floor even if I want to boil milk, as it would leave him with excruciating pain and make him cry. If I keep him on my lap, he wouldn’t feel the pain. But for how long could I keep him on my lap? My Lord! Do show some mercy.’

Looking at the entrance door kept open, Archana was crying helplessly. Yugan was lying on her lap, struggling with less space with it to accommodate his grown-up body of eight years old. He was whining as a stranded kid with his eyes evoking fear, and the lips curled. To accommodate him, Archana moved her left thigh away a bit. Tears welled up in her eyes, rolled down along her ears, and wetted her night dress. No sooner had she completed cleansing him of his feces, wiping his body, and sanitised with powder than he started screaming fiercely, a vicious cry shaking the interiors of one’s soul without any prelude of any prior indication or mild sob. Seeing him crying in an extremely sharp high pitch, with the nerves on his neck bulging up and his hands waving in the air violently, one would definitely feel some pain in their stomach.

‘My Lord! It is you who has always blessed me with your mercy. It is you who could now lend your helping hands to me. No one would perish in your reign. Your mercy that always descended on me as water to quench my soul whenever I was thirsty should descend on me this time too.

She could see two silhouettes at the entrance. Archana bent her head as a mark of conveying her gratitude to Jesus Christ as she saw those two persons peeking their heads hesitantly. Her hands drew a cross in the air on seeing them.

‘O! My father! I know you would never abandon me. Here came your saviours’.

“Please get in. It is my father, Jesus Christ, who only has sent you to me.”

The appearance of Archana and her words got the visitors perplexed and made them hesitant.

“I guess this is Guna sir’s house. Isn’t it? - One of them, a young girl peeking her head into the house, adjusting her dupatta. The man who accompanied her removed his shoes and came in.

“Yes…this is Guna sir’s house. Please come in. You should do a favour for me. I have kept the milk in the kitchen. Could you please bring it to me? If I put him on the floor, he would

cry again” Archana showed them the direction of the kitchen beseechingly. The young lady walked to the kitchen.

As soon as she entered the kitchen, she could feel the stench filling the air in the house. She covered her nose and stood hesitantly as to which milk bottle she should pick up from the kitchen slab.

“Yes... it is the one. Please bring it here.” Archana turned her head and told her. The young lady brought the milk bottle and gave it to Archana.

The young man sat on the floor, folding his legs, and looked at Yugan. It appeared that he wasn’t prepared to see Yugan’s condition as this worse, albeit aware of the fact that a child’s physical appearance didn’t have anything to do with the present state of sickness. The young lady also sat beside him.

“We are working in the same office where Guna sir is working. We were on our way to a ‘wedding reception’ today. As we are aware of this problem, we decided to pay a visit here. “Sir’ has told everything about it.”

Yugan drank the milk but spat it out in the next second. “Why doesn’t my Kuttima like milk? You are my dearest. Aren’t you? Have a little milk, my dear boy. I will give you something better after you drink it. My boy…please have a sip.” - The young lady was watching Archana’s face with disbelief and dread as Archana was trying to coax him into drinking some milk, tilting his head a bit behind. The milk spilled from his mouth with the coarse sound that came out of his throat.

Archana wiped his mouth, looked up at the young woman, and said, “This is how he struggles every day. He would drink a gulp and then spit it out all. This won’t help his hunger. Will it? Then, he will start crying. He should have some energy left in his body even for crying. Shouldn’t he?” Archana kept the milk bottle aside and had him lain a bit comfortably on her lap. Yugan pressed his head against her stomach and turned a little.

“What’s your name?” Archana asked her as she was running her fingers through his hair.

“Sanjana. I am working in his office.”

“I am Saravanan. You had met me earlier. You brought your son to my marriage.”

Archana lifted her head, rather enthusiastically. “He used to be very active in those days. You wouldn’t find him at one place. I brought him to your marriage. Didn’t I? He looked like a rose. Now all his charm is gone. See yourself how he is looking now. Nothing is alright with him. But your Guna sir doesn’t seem to be worried about anything happening here. His office is most important for him. No matter how painful it is here tending to him, it never affects him because his sole aim is nothing but going to his office. The servant maid has taken leave for four days as she had gone to attend some function of her relative. She will come only after two days. My troubles with him will remain the same till she comes back, and I will keep my eyes on the entrance door all through the day waiting for some visitors to turn up who could be of some help at this juncture. There are a lot of works yet to be done, like washing and making him sleep. I only have to do all. But Guna would come only in the night.”

In order to divert the topic, Saravanan asked her, hesitantly, “You were also working in our office. Weren’t you?

A flash of happiness spread across her face and then disappeared. “I don’t remember anything now.” She deeply gazed at the milk bottle, fixedly, as her fingers were still softly running through Yugan’s hair. “It was a Sports Day celebration when I first met him. You know that he was the Sports Club secretary. Don’t you? He still holds the same position. He was standing stiff with a white T-shirt and pants. I was just a volunteer. It had been eight months since I joined my job. As the sun was very harsh that day, I just sat under the Samiyana canopy, not even for two minutes. He came there and started shouting at me, “If you like to spend your time under shade, you shouldn’t have joined in this job. Go to your position.” I was terribly angry at him for his discourteous demeanour. I got up and left the place with my visibly irritated face. The whole day went on with our faces sulking at each other.”

That time, milk was spilling from Yugan’s mouth. She took a small towel kept at the corner and wiped it gently. Folding it, she again looked up and continued with a smile on her lips, “One week later, he came to my house and asked my parents to ask for my hand in marriage. He didn’t even inform me about it in advance.”

As she was narrating her story enthusiastically, her face was seen lit up, almost forgetting her son lying on her lap.

“What was your parents’ response to your marriage?”

“My parents were not happy with this alliance. They wouldn’t think of getting me married even out of our caste. He is a Christian. They said categorically, No.”

“What about you?”

Archana looked down, with a shade of shyness on her face, and said, “As I was angry with him, I was perplexed at his impudence, that how he could dare ask for my hand with his face and tell me I love you. I didn’t approve of his proposal. It was only Latha's sister who was working with me, saying by hugging that I was so lucky to have him since he had selected me as his choice while a great array of women were eagerly longing for his attention and I shouldn’t miss him in my life. I wasn’t even aware that the news had spread throughout the office in just a couple of days. Since I also came to know more about him, I gave my consent to the proposal, and our marriage took place in the church after three months in the absence of our parents.” 

Tears rolling down her cheeks, she sobbed, curling her lips, and said, “Now I regret my decision of getting married to him. My parents weren’t happy with my marriage when they came to know about my son’s condition. None of them came to visit me as I got married against their wishes. It is all my sins that have come down on my son. Your Guna sir will leave for his office with his perfect attire as if none of these problems I face do not affect him. “

Yugan started crying, wriggling his body. He turned his head, twisted his body, and cried, throwing his hands in the air. Sanjana felt a shiver creeping into her body when she heard the deafening sound of his cry. It seemed that all his pains took the form of a cry and echoed in the walls.

“You are alright, my boy… Look at me… Anything you need, my boy?” Archana had him lain on the floor as tears were still flowing down. As he threw his hands in the air, one of its strong swings hit Archana’s face brutally, making her lose balance. She pulled her head back a moment and then bent forward, clenched his hands, and massaged his chest softly. 

Saravanan was shocked, looked helpless, and asked, “Why is he crying like this?”

“You better ask this question to your Guna sir. Is he crying telling me the reason why he does so?” - She turned her face with a jerk and spat out the words furiously. Yugan’s body was twisting in uncontrollable fits.

Saravanan caught his legs. It was shaking with high temperature.

“He will cry with pain for two minutes before he calms down. Then he will be alright for some time. Not knowing where it pains or how it pains, he will just scream with a deafening cry. The body will also have a temperature like this at that time. I am standing utterly helpless now. It seems that even God has abandoned us. No use of blaming anyone at this juncture.

Sanjana couldn’t control her emotions, cried, and got up as Archana was talking about her son.

No sooner had the stiffness of his twisted body begun to relax than his crying started coming down. When Saravanan released his grip from Yugan’s legs, they hung loose as if lifeless. 

“Please help me to lay him on the bed.”

Sanjana made the bed with the small mattress kept rolled there.

“Spread it on the mattress.” Archana gave her a rubber sheet. Yugan had stopped crying when she laid him on a thin, folded cloth above the rubber sheet. His eyes were fixed somewhere. His mouth was slightly twisted and drooling. When Archana adjusted his shirt, he called her out, which sounded like a lisp.

“This is how he could call me now. You know well how talkative he used to be. His words used to be very clear without any tinge of lisp. Now he is struggling to pronounce the word ‘amma’—Archana’s voice broke, crying, and slowly she got up.

“Please keep a watch on him for a minute. I am going to the toilet. I will be back in seconds. I didn’t have time to relieve myself since morning. I have kept some milk in the stove. Please make it hot and keep it here. Before he cries again, I could feed him.” Archana told her as she walked to the toilet, almost tottering.

Yugan smiled with his lisp, throwing his hands in the air again.

Sanjana wiped her tears as she saw Archana coming back with her regular chants of prayer.

***

After making a cross on Yugan’s forehead, the pastor was standing silently, closing his eyes, and his lips mumbled some prayers quietly.

“Let all the blessings of our lord be bestowed upon this child. Let the magnificence of our lord be on him to ward off all the evil spirits that have been obstructing his way since long. The fruits of miseries will never touch the pure souls. Let him be at peace hereafter and be released from the clutches of torment to see the light from the sky. Let the music of our lord be heard in his ears.”

Yugan was lying immobile, his eyes fixed somewhere with no movement. His head seemed to have been bulged up, joints swollen, nose grown thicker, and his stomach swelled. He was lying on Archana’s lap with all his heaviness. Archana folded her hands and prayed as she wiped the saliva from his mouth. She seemed to have forgotten that she could shed tears. With her inanimate eyes and cracked dark lips, she also looked extremely exhausted in the hands of burden caused by the unbearable misery lying on her lap.

As he came to the doorstep, the pastor placed his hands on Guna’s shoulders and said, “He looks like a newborn baby. Sometimes, even good people are also tested by God. It is indeed very painful to see Archana in this condition. No one could bear the pain of watching one’s own child wriggling in agony in front of them. Leave it to Jesus Christ and take good care of them, Guna.”

When Guna came in, he found Archana sitting with a Bible in her hands. Yugan’s eyes were fixed somewhere, and he was licking his lips, sticking his tongue out.

Guna sat beside her. He touched Yugan’s slightly folded legs tenderly. Yugan smiled with a bout of mild sound as if tickled. When he wiped his drooling saliva from his mouth, Yugan laughed again.

Archana, with tears, was busy reading the Bible.

“Let the day I was born be perished. Let that night, which announced the birth of a baby boy, be condemned to darkness forever. Let my lord from above not look at it. Let the dense darkness and deadly night devour it. Let the dark clouds cover it. Let that night be possessed by devilish darkness. Let it be removed from the year’s count of days. Let that night be empty and perish. Let all stars of that dawn be dark forever.”

***

Yugan was grinning at the colourful balloons and paper flowers fluttering under the ceiling fan. His pink gums were visible as he had lost most of his teeth.

Archan brought a big plate with a cake in the centre and said, “My dear Kuttima… Love to see your smile, baby. I am coming to you,” as she was walking towards him.

Yugan laughed, kicking legs in the air.

She called out, “Guna, where are you? Come here immediately. If he starts crying, we wouldn’t be able to do anything.”

She inserted some candles in the cake and paused for a while.

Guna was standing under the portrait of Jesus Christ, picked up the Bible from the table, and opened it with a prayer with his eyes closed. He then opened his eyes and read out a psalm that appeared on the page he opened.

“I will make a path in the desert. I will make the stream appear in the desolated space. All the animals in the forest will praise me. The jackals and ostriches will honour me.”

“Can you carry him with you so that I could cut the cake?” Archana told him as she was lighting the candles.

Guna lifted him and had Yugan lean against his shoulder while Archana cut the cake. When they sang his birthday song, “Happy birthday to you…Happy birthday to you…Happy birthday to Yugan… Happy birthday to you.” Yugan rolled his eyes and stared at them, laughing. He shook his body once with shock when one of the balloons flapping in the air blasted and laughed merrily again.

Archana put a piece of cake into his mouth. Her tears were gleaming in the candlelight. Yugan flipped his tongue as he savoured the taste of cake and licked his lips. Unable to carry him for long, Guna laid him on the bed. As soon as he lay on the bed, he started kicking his swollen legs violently in the air.

“Okay, dear boy… I am here…here with you. Daddy is always here.” Guna tried to calm him down, sitting near to him. Archana kept the cake plate on the table in front of Jesus Christ, wiped her hands, and stood silently with her eyes closed. Yugan’s yelling grew stronger, and he started screaming ferociously, with his usual blind kicks into the air.

***

Archana’s scream in the midnight woke up everyone. Guna got up from the floor and saw Archana holding Yugan on her lap and patting his cheeks.

“Guna, look at him. I am very scared, Guna. My boy… Look at me… Look here… Your mother is here. Look at me… Oh! My lord… Give him back to me. Don’t snatch him away from me.”

Guna looked at Yugan’s frail body for a moment intently. It was lying without any movement. His tense eyes were fixed on Yugan’s chest, waiting for its breathing movements. His chest didn’t give any sign of movement for long. Guna brought his trembling fingers near Yugan’s nostrils to feel the breath.

“Check for his breath properly…check it… You have killed my baby. You didn’t even let me know what his problem is. You sinner! I did give birth to him not for this day. I did rear him up with all my care and affection not for this day.”

Archana’s wails didn’t move him, as he was nearly certain that Yugan’s abdomen was still warm, though he was lying speechless.

“I will call Sathya… Just wait a second. Guna came out of the room and paused a second in front of Jesus Christ before he took out the phone. The lord’s smile under the night lamp touched his soul.

When he went in, he saw Archana rubbing Yugan’s palms.

“Do something, Guna… Why the hell are you standing like a moron? You think you will get rid of this burden. Don’t you? Take my words…if anything happens to my son, I will never spare you. You idiot… Do something immediately,” she yelled at him, feverishly.

Guna took Yugan’s legs on his lap and felt so helpless that he broke down as he rubbed Yugan’s feet.

***

Yugan’s body, with a big head and a shrunken torso, was kept in a coffin in his very birthday dress. The pastor was to utter the final sentence of the oath, waving the cross he was holding in his hands above the coffin. “The lord gave, and he has taken him back. Now our child has become part of our Lord’s kingdom. His pure spirit has merged with the light of heaven. Let his blessings be spread everywhere in this house. Let the peace prevail. Let the pain and tears of the past disappear. Only the blessing of our Lord will remain filled in there hereafter. Let us submit our son to Him. Every aspect of his long journey will remain virtuous for him. Amen” The pastor completed his prayer, waved the cross above the coffin once again, and stepped back.

Archana was lying unconscious.

***

2

The pigeons perching on the edges of the extradoses of the church flapped their wings and flew away when the church bell rang. The sunlight penetrated through the windows fixed with coloured glass. Archana was sitting in prayer, with her eyes closed. The soft fragrance of flowers filled in the air. She brought to mind the face of Mother Mary and the infant Jesus sitting in her hands. She thanked God for His benevolence in selecting her as His dearest.

Guna made a cross on his chest and got up. He stepped back and looked up without making noise. A portrait of Good Shepherd was hanging just above the window. With his untidy hair blowing in the air along with his untrimmed beard, the boundless compassion reflected on the face of the Good Shepherd holding a shepherd’s crook made him spellbound. ‘Now what I have received is just a drop of that boundless mercy.’

Archana’s face was gleaming with a new shine. She was now relaxed after the shades of her miserable days were just over. Dark circles under her eyes were still not disappeared. When she came near to the portrait of the good shepherd, she smiled softly.

“It is he who has come again in my womb, Guna. I could feel him.” Her dull voice carried the freshness of newfound enthusiasm and happiness.

As he sat near her, she sounded apprehensive, “I am scared for some obvious reasons, Guna.”

Guna grasped her hands and pressed them gently against his. “Be brave. You wanted to give birth to Yugan again. Didn’t you? It was your prayer. Wasn’t it? The god has given you what you asked for. If then, why are you scared?”

Archana looked above, fixed her eyes on the Son of God standing at the centre of the extrados carved with elegant architectural designs, and told, “Everything should be alright. I understand Sathya had told you something about it. I don’t want to know all these. All I want is for the lord to bless my baby without any problems.”

The church bell clanged once again.

***

Archana stood under the white Mother Mary statue in the hospital hall. The candle flames were flickering in the wind.

“I will wait here. You go there and meet them.” Archana sat on a bench there.

Guna knocked on the door of the consultation room and entered. Sathya was carefully listening to her senior physician while he entered. On hearing him coming in, Sathya turned her face towards him and signaled him to come near.

“Please come, Guna. Have a seat.” The senior physician with grey hair and thick specs was leaning on his chair. On seeing him, he sat straight.

“Congrats, Guna. It is good news. Where’s Archana?” The senior doctor extended his hands to him.

Holding his hands without much enthusiasm, Guna smiled at him and said, “She is sitting outside. Should I call her in?”

“No…No…not needed.” The doctor nodded his head in denial of his request and said, “As she will get unduly confused with this, it is better she is not aware of all these.”

Sathya filled some water in a glass, drank it, and started reading something seriously from her laptop. Guna asked her, “What should I do now? All my doubts are still not cleared. I am seriously confused and scared too.”

Sathya closed her laptop and told him reassuringly, “Nothing to worry about, Guna. The report doesn’t have anything to get you scared. Archana hasn’t even completed two months of her pregnancy. A sample from her umbilical cord has to be collected for sending it to a lab in the US. They will give the report in a fortnight.”

As she paused talking, the senior doctor resumed, “As far as this Hunter syndrome is concerned, it is relatively riskier if the first and second babies are boys. If the second baby is a girl, there is not much to worry about it.”

As he continued his talk, Guna felt that his head was spinning. ‘Why this unnecessary pregnancy? Those miserable days of giving birth to a boy only to lose him in the hands of death were just enough for my whole life. Weren’t they? I cannot afford to face yet another uncertain test of my life. It was true that we had thought of something such as this one, which might prove to be an antidote to the distress of Archana. But what would happen if it turns out to be another potential trail leading us to a much more horrible despair? It is

the Jesus Christ that decides everything in life. All I could do at this juncture was nothing but walk, leaving everything at His feet for His disposal.’

“If your first baby had been a girl, I would have stopped you from going ahead with this pregnancy. All such cases we deal with are almost similar in nature. If the first baby is a girl with this syndrome, no matter if the second baby is a girl or a boy, it will definitely be born with that syndrome. In your case, such a thing didn’t happen, and you are lucky that way.”

‘In the kingdom of God, nothing is without luck. When Yugan was born, we were so happy that all our relatives who stood away from us would come back to us, for at least, with an excuse of seeing our son. To our dismay, none of them came to us and remained away as if we should be contented with none other than God. They all must have been filled with the wicked pleasure of taking vengeance against us.

“We are waiting only for your approval. First, you have to give concurrence for this test. Secondly, in case the result is positive, abortion is the solution. You must be ready for it.

The doctor gazed at the gloom spread across Guna’s face, inched forward, and told him, “Guna, you don’t have time to think more because we have to act swiftly if at all we decide to terminate the pregnancy after we receive the reports. Any delay will end up in serious trouble for your wife. I guess you understand what I am saying.”

Sathya touched Guna’s shoulders. He drank water as he opened his eyes. He looked up to the doctor and innately wanted to meet Archana.

“Sathya… What are all these? You all kept telling something. Why do I have to go ahead with it? I couldn’t even understand what sort of problem this is at all. I feel that I can’t afford to bear all such things now.”

Sathya touched his shoulder again. She opened her laptop and showed him the screen and said, “Gave a glance of it. This world is replete with lakhs of people like you. An exclusive organization is working for such affected people. They give consultation and assure that treatment is also possible if the disease is diagnosed before it reaches a critical stage. We will think about all such options only when the test results turn out to be positive. If it is negative, we don’t have to worry about anything.”

Guna reflexively touched the cross dangling on his neck. ‘Other than submitting myself to the benevolence of God, I don’t find anything worth at this time.’ Guna thought for a while, rose, and told the doctor, “Everything happens as per His guidance. I also think that the test needs to be done anyway. Could you please fix the date for the test? I will inform Archana about it.”

When he came out, he saw Archana standing in front of the Mother Mary statue with her eyes closed. The light of all the candle flames flickering in the air was falling on her face.

***

Archana warned Guna, who was walking along with his eyes closed, “Don’t open your eyes till I tell you to.” Her voice reflected her happiness.

She had already taken control over the corner room, which they were using as their bedroom, a week ago. She had placed her cot in the room on the right adjacent to the hall and didn’t allow anyone even to peek into that room after that.

She opened the door slowly and told him, “Now open your eyes slowly,” as she pushed him in gently on his back.

Guna opened his eyes. It was fully dark.

Archana laughed to her heart’s content and asked him, “You couldn’t see anything. Could you? Wait a second. Let me switch on the light.” He could hear the sound of the switch being pressed. The light filled in the room in a second.

The room bore an appearance of a completely different room. Curtains in a light rose hue with thinly drawn designs of small flowers were flapping elegantly. Green leaves with climbing creepers on the wall painted in light yellow. Butterflies fluttering their tiny wings. A small, beautiful bed. Different types of toys on the shelf— Chota Bheem was standing with his hands folded across his chest near the red colour teddy bear. Elephants, horses, and dinosaurs were standing above; shiny cars and cycles in different colours were standing below. A push walker is in the left corner of the room. Another push cart with small ringing bells. 

“This is our Kutti’s room. See for yourself how I have made it for him. Is it looking good?” She looked at his face, brimming with pride.

Guna stood totally amazed. “You have done a wonderful job. Haven’t you? You haven’t even let me know about it.”

“I just wanted to give you a surprise. Once this naughty guy jumps out of my womb, he won’t allow me to move an inch, and that is why I have bought everything he needs,” she jumped out of joy, holding her cheeks.

Guna twisted her ears lovingly and said, “If you’d told me, I would have done my part too. Hadn’t I?” and hugged her, sat on the cot with her as she came near to him.

She has changed a lot in the last two weeks. Archana, who used to be a nightmare for him with her weeping and angst, was now absent. Cheeks were shiny, and her face exuded a clarity of sorts, and her eyes were brighter, radiating a sense of being complete.

Turning the pages of a colour book containing large pictures, she asked him, “When do you have to meet Sathya?”

Before he replied, he heard his mobile phone ringing in the hall.

“Wait a second. Let me bring the phone.” He went out and checked the mobile.

It was a call from Sathya. Anxiety filled in his heart. Although he was waiting for her call for the last two days, he wanted to disconnect the call now for reasons unknown to him.

“Who’s that?” Archana asked him as she came out of the room. She was holding a cotton-stuffed chicken toy in her hands.

Guna pushed the green caller sign up on his mobile and put it in his ears and said, “Hello, Sathya.” Archana’s face grew gloomy for a second the moment she heard the name of Sathya.

“Ok. Sathya… I will be there soon.” He hung up the phone, looked up, and strained to bring his face to normal as soon as he saw Archana. He tried to smile at her.

“What did she tell? What is this Guna? Why are you sweating this much?” She went near to him, wiped his sweat from his face, and looked at him penetratingly.

“Be frank, Guna… What did she say?”

He caught her shoulder tightly and looked her intently, smiled at her, and said, “She said nothing serious. She just informed me that the reports will be arriving tomorrow morning. She asked me to come there at ten.”

She heaved a sigh of relief but threw her eyes on him, not yet fully coming out of apprehension. “Are you sure? She didn’t say anything other than this. Did she?”

Guna tapped her head endearingly, smiling, and said, “Get yourself right from her if you like.”

She hugged him. Her body was shivering. She could hear his anxious heartbeat when she leaned on his chest. She looked up and said to him, “I am scared.”

He wanted to say that he was also scared like her, but without telling it, he gazed at the portrait of Jesus Christ on the wall. The Son of The God smiled at him with his eyes shining with compassion.

***

Guna was looking absorbedly at his newborn baby, making mild sounds, hands waving in the air with its fingers tightly closed. A small head with dense hair. A fresh hue of tender baby skin. A reddish, clot-like mark near the right eyebrow.

“Don’t stare at the baby like that. Parents’ appreciative eyes will bring bad omen on them, people say.” Archana lay down on her side, as she was very tired.

“I was just examining who he resembles.” Guna sat on the chair.

“No one could identify anyone’s resemblance in four days of birth. All that they say is just an expression of their happiness, Archana told him as she was fondling the baby’s feet, sticking out the cloth. The baby pulled its legs in with a mild shiver. “It is he who has come to me again. None of my prayers went unanswered.”

Someone knocked at the door. Guna got up. Sathya entered the room with her usual exuberance, “How is the junior doing? Not making much noise? Doesn’t he”? It seems he has not yet fully slept and looks tired.” She bent towards the baby and smiled at her.

“He is fond of sleeping at this hour so that he could ensure we wouldn’t be able to sleep even for a minute in the night.” Guna told Sathya, crackling his fingers.

“You don’t have anything better to do. Do you? You can take good care of him all through the night. Can’t you? As soon as you are back home, going to your office will become your routine anyway. So you won’t tend to him for long. Will you?” - Sathya picked a sugar cube, put it into her mouth, and kept talking to Guna.

Again the sound of door knocking. Sathya stopped Guna when he tried to move away from there and said, “I think we have got a new visitor to our tiny doll. Wait. Let me see who it is.”

Archana adjusted the shawl, and Guna looked at her questioningly. Archana’s mother entered the room, as if burdened with loads of reluctance. Not looking at them both, she went to the baby straight. Guna greeted her warmly. Archana looked at her mother’s face. She didn’t speak any words. Tears welled up in her eyes.

“Have a seat, aunty… Eii…my tiny doll… Here is your grandma. Open your eyes and see,” Sathya told the baby, holding and gently shaking his hands. Without turning her head, Archana’s mother looked at Archana for a moment and looked down.

“Here are the people you must see, my dear Kutti… You must have a glance at this surprising visit of those who were least bothered to know if their own daughter was alive or dead but now have come to see you.” Archana wiped her tears.

Guna slowly moved out of the room.

“This is not the right time, Archana…” When Sathya tried to intervene, Archana’s mother calmed her down and said, “I don’t see anything wrong in her words. When she was standing alone without anyone to comfort her after her son’s death, I remained stubborn like a stone. Didn’t I? Let her vent out all her” anger”—wiping her tears, she caught Archana’s hand excitedly.

As their words had fallen silent, their weeping became stronger. Archana broke down, shedding warm tears filled in her eyes.

The baby kicked in the air and stiffened the body as if in an attempt to push it away and started crying.

“It seems Kutti couldn’t bear your emotional bursts.” - Sathya removed the blanket, only to see the bed was wet and rebuked, “What sort of a naughty boy are you? You have wetted the cot instead of your grandma’s lap.”

Archana asked her mother, when the latter was washing her hands in the tap in the corner of the room, “Is Father aware of your coming here?”

Wiping her hands, she lifted the baby and kept him on her lap. He stretched his body once, licked his pink lips, and paused for a second.

“No. He doesn’t know.”

“Is he aware that this baby is born?”

“Yes. He knows. It is he who has told me about it.” – She fixed her eyes on the baby, looked at him for something, and lifted her head. “He is still angry with you.” She paused for some time and then said, “I am also still angry with you.”

Archana glanced at Sathya, smiled at her, and told her mother, “It doesn’t matter. Even after my only son died and got buried, if your anger still remains, hell with it. It doesn’t matter anymore. Does it?” - A drop of tear rolled down from her eyes.

“Nothing to worry about it too. He will also come soon. Everyone will come to enjoy playing with this Kutti,” Sathya, as usual lively in her talk, picked one more sugar cube and put it into her mouth.

“May I come in?” Guna peeked in with two glasses of fruit juices.

***

“The blessings of my lord fill in the land as rain. It is his mercy that lights up everything here. Those who seek succour in his kingdom will never face any problem in their life. Let us all pray to our lord, our Jesus. He is everything for us. Let us kneel down in front of him. Let us surrender on his feet. Amen”

The pastor climbed down the pedestal after completing his prayer. Everyone left the place making a cross against their chest. The silence that prevailed just a while ago there was disrupted, and a mild bustle followed it.

Guna’s mother and Archana, carrying the baby on her lap under the thick foliage of a neem tree, got up at once when they heard the church’s bell clanging. “The prayer seems to be over.” The baby shuddered his body hearing the clanging of the church bell and cried.

“O! My dear kutti… You are scared of the sound. Aren’t you? No need to be afraid, my dear Kutti… Come with me.” Guna’s mother took the baby from Archana and walked towards the church.

Archana went near to Guna, visibly standing with a sense of fulfilment and happiness, and asked him, “Make a guess of the name we have decided to give our baby.”

Guna knew well that it was the same question from her being directed at him every time but with no answer from him. He pursed his lips as usual. By that time, they went near to the prayer hall and saw some were waiting for the ablution of wisdom.

“Can I tell you his name?” Guna’s father asked as he wore his spectacles after cleaning them. His hair, trimmed very closely to the scalp, was shining white. Freshly shaved cheek skin was looking thick. He was in a clean white attire. Archana stepped back a few feet.

“I have grown bored listening to this question ever since he was born. How come you would find out a name all of a sudden?” Guna laughed.

As the crowd standing in the front moved ahead, praying and making the cross, Guna’s father inched forward quite submissively. Guna was standing on his left. Guna’s mother gave the baby to Archana.

The pastor came near. A silver cross was dangling on his chest, shining. He smiled at them. Both Guna and his father chanted some psalms and stepped back, giving him the way. As he passed them with a mumble, ‘God bless you’ without parting his lips, he stopped seeing Archana, his eyes fixed on her.

“You all have the blessings of Jesus Christ, and you will be blessed with good things in your life.” He drew a cross on her forehead, saw the baby in the hands of Guna’s mother, and smiled at the baby. He bent a little and made some incomprehensible sound at the baby. The baby rolled his eyes, paused a second, and started kicking his legs in the air. He rolled up his lips and speckled his spittle.

“He seems to be very naughty.” The pastor moved aside and wiped his face. Embarrassed, Archana stared at the baby, rolling her eyes and faking her anger. It didn’t leave any impact on him. He again rolled his lips and made a sound p..rrr…rrr…rr…rrr,…rrr, …rrr, emitting spittle on her face.

The church bell clanged again.

The baby smiled this time hearing the bell sound. “What’s the name you have in your mind? the pastor asked Guna’s father.

He made a cross, looking at Jesus Christ, standing on a marble pedestal as an embodiment of light of mercy in the centre of the prayer hall, looked at Archana, and said with a sense of satisfaction, “My daughter-in-law has already decided. I think she wants to disclose it only in your presence.”

“O! That is great. Then, tell me his name. Only then could we name him with the blessings of God.

Archana took the baby from Guna’s mother’s hands and passionately stared at him for a moment, holding him in her hands as the sunlight passing through the window glasses fell upon his face. She bowed her head in front of Jesus Christ as the baby smiled at her and said tenderly, “Anand.”

Guna’s father signaled something with his eyes to Guna. Guna took out a bundle of currency notes from his bag and put it in a box kept for accepting offerings on the pedestal.

The pastor sprinkled the holy water from the marble bowl on the baby’s head and made a cross on his forehead. As the water droplets fell on him, his body shook mildly once, he kicked his legs, and he cried.

“Let the blessings of God be bestowed upon him fully. Let all the wealth of our Lord’s kingdom be accessible to him. With our lord’s blessings, he will get the best of education, health, eminence, and fame. Let us name this baby, who has been bestowed upon all the choicest blessings of our lord, Anand. Let us call this baby who has become one among the herd of Good Shepherd Antony. Let the blessings of the Lord be with you always. Amen”

The church bell sounded again. Anand gazed at them cheerfully with his big eyes, rolling them.

***

The mount of Pazhani was standing majestically with its peripheral wall painted in white and saffron colours and its tower. The place where people offered their hair was not crowded that day. A peacock sitting on the roof fluttered its feathers, flew, and perched on the branch of a tree.

Archana laughed at Guna’s predicaments as he was trying to hold his dhoti onto his waist as it was slipping frequently. Archana’s mother commented on seeing her daughter, “It is now only I could see my old Archana.” Her comments made Archana’s father nod his head in approval.

“Please be careful. Hold the boy properly,” the old barber prayed to the Mount Pazhani, folded his hands, and warned them in his customary tone as he put a new blade into his razor.

Archana’s brother was holding the child’s head. “I don’t want to be shaved off…” The child pursed his lips and cried.

“It is nothing to get worried about, my boy… Look here… I am sitting with you. Aren’t I? You shouldn’t be scared. I know you like ice cream. I will get you one. “ Archana sat and knelt down beside him. Looking at her face, Anand refused to budge again, “No… I want nothing.

The old man sprinkled some water on Anand’s head and signaled to Archana’s younger brother to hold his head. He started shaving off his head from his forehead, inching it deftly, unconcerned about Anand’s growing wails.

Children playing around came running there.

Archana’s chithi came to her and asked, “Has he completed his three years?”

“He will complete three by the end of this coming December, Chithi.”

“What about his schooling?”

“He is studying in Pre. K.G.”

“It’s been ages since we all came to the temple together. I am very happy to see this today, Archana."

A monkey climbed down fast from an asbestos roof, jumped on a water tank, and sat there.

“Grandma… Look there… A monkey is coming,” a girl with twin plaits shouted.

The monkey stared at them, rolling its eyes, and then intimidated them with the display of its teeth. A boy wearing spectacles tried to shoo it away, waving his hands at it. The girl in twin plaits warned him, “Dei…don’t do that. It might pounce on you and bite you. By this time Anand’s wails had greatly subsided. He was sitting with his running nose, looking down.

“That is it. It’s over.” The old man folded his razor holder and got up from his seat. The hair strands fell down from his dhoti. Anand, getting down from the lap, ran his hands on his plain scalp, glanced at his shaved-off hairs below, and looked up at the old man.

“Hot water is ready. You can give him a bath.”

Anand kicked on the ground as he saw the monkey hanging on a branch. He saw his father coming to him holding his dhoti tightly, wrinkled his face, and called him out, “Daddyyyy.”

Archana went to him from behind, ran her hand on his head, and teased him, “Mottai…” Anand turned back, grinned at his mother, and jumped onto her hands.

A crowd carrying Kavadi yelled, “Pazhani malai muruganukku arogara” (Hail the Lord Murugan dwelling in the Mount Pazhani) and went past them.

***

Guna got irritated with the incessant calls coming in on his mobile phone. He picked it up and understood that it was the eleventh call from Archana.

“I told you not to disturb me as I would be engaged with an important work today. Didn’t I?”

“Anand’s class teacher called and asked me to come to the school immediately. Is he…?” Archana couldn’t continue her talk.

He stood frozen for a moment. ‘He left for the school, waving his hands, with his usual enthusiasm. Didn’t he?’

“It is alright. You please don’t get panicked. Get ready. I will be there in minutes.”

Despite his sincere efforts to concentrate on the road without thinking about anything, fear and anxiety started descending on him slowly. ‘It can’t be anything serious. Must be something normal. I shouldn’t get unduly scared of something”—he’ tried to calm himself down from his invisible fears. His right hand rose and marked a cross reflexively.

Archana was waiting for him at the entrance.

As she got into the car, he asked her calmly, “What did his class teacher tell you?”

“She told me that he’s fallen sick and come immediately. She said nothing more than this. I am scared, Guna…” He saw her fingers trembling when she wiped her tears.

He parked his car and walked along the long road where Indian cork trees were standing in rows. Archana was walking along with him, holding his hands. Noise of children playing games on the ground. A sprinkler was rotating, sprinkling water all around on the grass bed sprawling in front of the main administrative building of the school.

On seeing Archana, the class teacher came out of her restroom.

“What happened?”

“Nothing to worry. Please come in. He is sleeping in the health clinic.

Guna was walking on the long veranda, deeply praying to the lord within.

“I could see him only in the second period. He was lying, looking very tired, on the desk. When touched, I could understand he was suffering from a mild fever. Only after that did I call you.”

It was a small room, opposite to a board with colourful paintings. As the ceiling fan was running at the minimum speed, they saw Anand lying on a small cot kept along the wall.

Another bespectacled teacher came to them and smiled at them. “He had a mild fever. I have given him Crocin. Now he is sleeping.

Guna went near to Anand and touched his forehead.

His body had a high temperature.

                                                     ***Ended***