Unending Music (Prapanja Ganam) by Mouni

 

Mouni 

This is an English Translation of “Prapanja Gaanam”, a  short story written by Mouni. Translated from Tamil by Saravanan Karmegam This short story was first published in Manikkodi magazine in 1936. 

It has been three years since he came to that town. It was the season of westerly though, yet for reasons unknown the wind didn’t blow in its usual enthusiasm, and behaved like an uninvited guest to this world, sitting quiet, and was sulking amidst the branches of trees in which it seemed to have taken refuge surreptitiously.

He was seen most of his times standing at the veranda of his house, brooding over, kept staring at his life as if he was flipping the pages of it. The pages of his life, dented with the tears of sorrow did appear in front of the eyes of his heart. Some of them appeared clearly and some of them looked vague and were likely to disappear as he was writing them down as per his whims on the pages that were still not written. Sometimes he would become deeply melancholic without doing any of these two.

When the enigmatic beauty of this nature got into his heart straight away, he would at times be happy forgetting his existence. During other circumstances, when he felt miserable and unable to bear the pains of this life, he would leave his worries afloat in the air, thinking it was denser enough to carry the unbearable burden of his woes. But to his consternation, his woes would get dissipated in the air, and thus making the world sink in grief like rain-bearing clouds causing downpours. While looking at the stars planted in the sky that were glittering with their mocking eyes from an inaccessible distance, he would remember his old ruined life. He would grow angry at once, and think of dumping them into sea by uprooting them from sky with the sense of audacity as if he had only sown all of them in it. He would, then, look up to the sky with a suspicion, and ponder what they would be doing at their new place of existence. It would appear to him that the stars were also looking at him back with the same suspicion he had.      

The streets of the town were narrow and the houses were long, straight and tall. When the dimming, slanting rays of the sun fell on top of houses, the open entrances of houses would render a pose like secret caves whose mouths were open to exhibit the dark interiors of houses. The exposed entrances shouldn’t be misunderstood that they were throwing invites to us. They were just looking like stupid opening of a mouth waiting to devour the thoughts that would disappear after entering it.

But, the thoughts that disappeared in the hollow pit of his mind kept coming out very often as if they were written by an extremely hot iron rod. He just needed a baby’s cry or caws of crows to raise his almost non-existent thoughts, lying dormant, with the sparkling flames again. His thoughts went back by three years.  

Time is always something which never stops for anyone’s whims and keeps moving even if one holds it, cuddles it with immense love. Yet, the day he parted terms stood still, not moving further in his mind. It stood still; remained still ever. He, then, developed a hatred towards this mundane life of the world thenceforth. It was that hared burning in his heart was the one now reflecting in his eyes. He realised that there could be no bigger pain in heart other than the happiness of this world at the time an individual was desperately seeking a change for his mind. His heart was not filled with happiness; it was filled with hatred instead. 

Yonder, the sun was setting in the west, the sky was in crimson hue. The flock of clouds trying to obstruct it were floating around with various hues, taking different forms. A streak of long whiteness that had descended from the top of a cloud looking like a cave with its mouth open, merged with it, and became one. Yet, this world appeared as an epithet of sorrows, tipped in pleasure, pervading in yellow with the marvellous and noble souls.

                     ………

Her shiny eyes were fixed on him, very often, intently, not missing its target even by a second. When the evening sun light became dimmer, she went inside the house and disappeared. Yes…she had gone into her house just opposite to his house. These days she had been watching him often. It gave him an opportunity to comfort his troubled mind. Her attention on him made him feel that his life had become lovable for a while. He began reconciling himself that his world was still not doomed, as he had found a light in it.

One day morning he went to the pond to have bath. It was a pond with a Peepal tree on its bank. There, she was washing her saris, probably after taking bath. He thought of bathing after she left the place, and was standing under Peepal tree. He was watching the water of the pond with tiny waves behind her. Some grey colour storks were standing erect, glancing at their reflections on water on the opposite bank. The brightness of sky was getting reflected on water and small trees at the opposite side were found looking at her as if they were standing on their toes, stooped forward in their attempt to reach for her. The breeze was gentle. The lilies in the pond were peeping their heads above water level. He felt that his burden in the heart had also got reduced a bit. A kingfisher bird flying around behind his head with its focus on water, dived into it in flash of a second, picked up a fish, flew away, and perched on branch of a tree near. A peasant woman was drying cow dung cakes opposite bank. The woman who was washing clothes this side of the bank was watching it. He sank into despair as he knew what that woman might have thought herself watching the drying of cow dung cakes- ‘it is being made only for me; to cover my body after they dry’.

After his arrival at the town, he hadn’t had the chance to listen to her singing. It must have been more than three years since she had last sung. On that day when she was sick, the doctor who treated her warned her that her heart was weak and she shouldn’t attempt singing anymore. From that day she didn’t sing as if her skills in music had got frozen within herself. She was a trained singer in Veena. He had listened to her playing Veena once. After that he had got his impressions, about her music and the universe much stronger. He started believing that she was an embodiment of music and the song of the Universe was locked within her. The caws of crows, chirping of birds and the sound of wind passing through the gaps among trees got him annoyed. He started surmising that the Nature was still not perfect as it hadn’t experienced the fullness of her music and any sound one could hear in the world would be nothing but an empty noise.

After considerably a long time since he came to that town, he had listened to her playing of Veena on a Friday in the month of Aadi. An oil lamp was kept lighted in her house. A bright light was throwing light in front of the house. A faint spread of light in the front yard permeated through the open entrance, and fell across the middle of dimly lit street. Inside her brother was reading a book. The sound of Veena was floating around there, rising from the hall. It seemed that she had started playing Veena. He was standing at the corner of the veranda of his house, hiding himself in dark and was listening to her music.

She played Veena for nearly one and a half hours. It just passed like a second. It seemed that the world rose up, overwhelmed by her music. While she was playing Veena, he thought of something incidentally, which came over his mind like a flash. He understood that it was an irrefutable truth. The tenor of her song reinforced his conviction. His heart was filled in with an unfathomable fear, his body shook once. It appeared to him that his heart would break well before she completed her song. He stood stunned, speechless, expecting her to stop her singing.

‘Yes…she shouldn’t sing. If it is true what the doctor had told, her death is certain. But, she would die of singing. Wouldn’t she? It wasn’t due to the doctor’s diagnosis. Was it? The emotional surge caused by his restless mind was changing itself into a splendid life’s philosophy.

That done, he was careful about these thoughts that it was dominated mostly by his chaste understanding of the said matter and a sensitivity bearing no resemblance of himself. In spite of it, he reinforced his convictions once again- his conviction that this Nature was not in its fullness due to one reason or the other- as the song of the Universe and beauty have taken her form, he was convinced that the defect in Nature was justifiable. The rising of moon was irritable. The howling of owls in late evenings from the holes in trees sounded spiritless. All sounds of this world bore depressive notes of resonation. Those sounds were just the songs sung by a man who was well trained in playing Veena without pitch, at the height of his madness. As the pitch had taken refuge in her, more than half the pleasure of music the Mother Nature offered, and was bound to offer,(both in the form of sound and visual form), were submissive to her music, and got vanished. While interpreting this further, one could understand that the Mother Nature was trying to get back what She had lost to her, and no one could stop the Song of Universe and the beauty that took her form once, were now trying to come out from her to enthral this Nature. But, his fear- her death with song- made him sink in utter despair.

Months passed. He was fully immersed in his thoughts- a moment that got little longer seemed very long as if it seemed to have become so.

……..

It was the third day of her marriage. Nalanku ceremony was under way.

He could feel that his miserable condition had grown worse in recent times. He thought a couple of times that it was his grief that cried in loneliness, wandering in the night, howling indistinct. He couldn’t sleep during the night on the day of her marriage. He felt that the night was impregnated with the gloomy noises of the world. The immoral appearance of night without light!…He was standing leaning against the pillar at his house.

The window of front room in her house was kept closed. The slanting rays of light from inside were sneaking up on the gap of doors that were not fixed properly, fell on street and wall of his house veranda. The gentleness of light comforted his senses. He found an enigmatic pleasure in it. The intermittent disappearance of rays of light with someone seemed to be walking across inside the house looked very strange to him. It intrigued him, and he kept looking at it. He thought, “Yes…she is only walking, losing her mental balance. The one which is confined is getting ready to come out” He couldn’t think anything beyond it. He was terribly sad.

A countless number of stars found scattered on the sky, glittering as if the dots of light painted themselves in colours on the spread of night. It all appeared that they were asleep, undying, suspicious and questioning him. ‘It is true that the beauty of this universal light had got reduced due to her appeal’. The chilly wind started blowing with the sound of misery. Sounds of gekkering foxes at some distance and the barking of dogs permeating everywhere from a point at the slums of outcastes were the only horrifying sounds heard in that night. Those horrifying noises appeared an imploring cry for the day she would open up her heart to sing the song that had kept confined in her. A flock of clouds were rising upwards like a smoke in the distant horizon in east!

After a heavy downpour, the rain had stopped. The rain water that didn’t seep through the earth was flowing like a stream on street. Remaining water got stagnated as puddle of bogs. She opened the window once, closed at once. The street was afresh with the steaks of light for a while. The drizzling seemed to be non-stopping. A cat ran across the street, the light fell on it, disappeared in flash of a second.

It was the third day of her marriage. Nalanku ceremony was going on. She was holding a plate full of betal leaves showing it to the bride groom who was sitting so submissively, and waited for him to pick up some leaves from the plate. It so appeared that the bridegroom wanted her sing a song; the woman from bridegroom’s side sitting around her coaxed her to sing a song. She was standing as if she didn’t like to sing, and remained silent. He was also thinking that she shouldn’t sing watching her from distance, sitting by the pillar at his house. The women around there said something hurtful about her. She detested them. Her eyes displayed a kind indifference. She looked at him once, who was still leaning against the pillar. Her sharp eyes pierced him without missing its resolve. It was only at that time, a crow was cawing horribly at the upper ground. He turned that side. She looked at him once again, and kept staring at him. His eyes were looking restive like bees that had drunk honey. Her body had a sudden involuntary shudder. At once, she announced, “It’s alright. I will sing. Will that be alright?” His heart sank into deepest despair and about to blast without peace after hearing her announcement. ‘She has decided to find the meaning out and to become one in cosmos’. 

She started singing.

Once it began, she was totally immersed with music and forgot her being. Despite knowing the tenets of music and the limits of one’s ability, her song broke open all the boundaries like flood. Everyone sitting there was spell bound.

As his head was spinning he forgot what he was sitting leaning against the pillar as if he had got merged with it. The deep, unfathomable imagination of human emotions reflected in her music crossed all the known boundaries of love and took a different dimension. It was greater than the mountains, crueller than death, and more inviting than the kisses of women. It kept on taking different dimensions further. It kept on going up…

She sang for about an hour. The music which was, hitherto, confined within herself started overpowering everything out there. The outer world was slowly changing itself…The pages of his heart were turned over, and read passionately. “The Time” stopped forthwith, stood frozen. The evening became yellowish quickly even before its dimmer light faded away. His face became brighter, carried the signs of death.

At last the cawing of crows was heard in unison. Sparrows were perching on the canopy, screeching. Suddenly, he yelled out, “Aiyo…over there…that music, that sweetness…that pleasure…all are overwhelming this space.” That time, she also fell onto the ground. The Mother Nature got her defects corrected. She scooped up, cuddled it herself what she had lost. The stretch of firmament regained its gorgeousness. The crescent moon, which came out of its hiding in Mega Hills regained its beauty, and was shining. Outside her house that narrow street of that town bore the signs of delight.

From the Peepal tree on the banks of pond to the horizon where the curved earth burying its face, one could see nothing in between that could obstruct one’s view. On the west, there was a dense mango grove.

It was dawn. The light of the Sun started spreading everywhere chasing away the remains of dimness still staying in every nooks and gaps in the groves. The chirpings of birds were heard from every corner. The east started wearing crimson, shining with flames as if all the dense darkness of the previous night was set aflame at the horizon. The morning Sun rose. Rising further, it shone with a brightness that had made it impossible for anyone to look at the sky with naked eyes. The noisy world sounded like a marvellous music. The mind was at peace, at its happiness. He returned to his house.  

In the evening, while looking at the west through the trees, the expanse of paddy fields grew narrowed, and began disappearing in a line. All of them got merged with the horizon after every illusionary expansion. The heads of tall palm trees standing on the ridges of fields seemed to be disappearing, and hitting the sky. “It was life. Wasn’t it? A marvellous upsurge of mind”. He kept staring at it.

The cow dung cakes dried on the banks of the pond, were found stacked one above the other.   

***End***