 |
M. V. Venkatram |
To read the Tamil version of this story click here
This is 10th English Translation in the Classic Tamil Short Stories Series
Rajam woke up, got up from bed, and rubbed his eyes. Though he was not sleepy,
he didn't move out of the cot, sitting on it for some time, as if he was expecting something.
When the rooster crowed ‘kok…karak….kooooo’ as he had
expected, he sneered.
‘It seems that
this rooster was just waiting for me to open my eyes…What could be the time
now? Exactly, it is half past four’ he mumbled himself with a smile, tied his
dhoti tightly on his waist and got up.
He was worried
that he must not face his mother in the early morning. He groped in the dark
with his legs and leaped over his two sisters. His mother was sleeping just
beyond them. Without bending forward, he switched on the light. Once the light
came, he held his palm in front of his face, looked at it. He, then, picked up
the mirror hanging on the wall and had a look of his face too. Only after these
rituals, his mind got settled with peace. For some reasons unknown, he believed
that the entire day would get spoilt with fights and brawls, if he got up seeing
his mother’s face.
He looked at the
clock. It showed thirty-two minutes past four.
His neighbour was
maintaining a small poultry in the backyard. It was the place where the wonder
of hens laying eggs for some seven or eight months continuously without any
rooster, occurred. He was breeding a rooster just for the sake of possessing
one. It was a rare breed of its kind. One and half feet tall. It was pure white
in colour as if it had been washed with Tinopal brightening powder. It was this
rooster that crowed every morning exactly at half an hour past four with a
fixed schedule.
“Do you know what
I am going to do one day? I will scale the wall, twist the neck of that
rooster, make a stew out of it and eat it. How does it happen that exactly at
half past four it could crow? That hysterical unbearable howling in the early
morning!
His attention got
diverted to the loom platform. If he could weave yet another two-cubit length
of yarn, he could complete a saree. It was the last saree. ‘It should be
completed by evening today. Is it possible? Mother should not pick up fights
with me. If the owner calls me, I can give some lame excuses. But how to avoid
mother?’
He bent down
defiantly, looked at his mother. She looked spiteful even in her sleep.
Unbearable to see! ‘Isn’t it a sin to denigrate one’s mother like this? She
didn’t stop with one or two. Did she? It was five males and five females-all
were fit and fine till date; without any deformities. His father was a skilful
weaver. He would beat his mother in drunken state without even distinguishing
any part of her body. He wouldn’t leave her after beating her. Would he? He
would be crying before her throughout the night, imploring her which looked
nothing lesser than holding her legs.
Rajam was the
eldest. He knew about the stupid story of their romance after each fight and
the way they gave birth to ten children.
‘If they had not
fought like this, these many children couldn’t have been born. Why should he
beat his wife? After beating, why should he beg her holding her chins? I am
unable to understand only this. Mother must have become a bad woman only because of
father. During their early days, she didn’t raise her voice against
father. Once the beatings had become intolerable, she started raising her voice
against him. Further, once her body had lost its stamina, she started beating
him in return. Sometimes, she would bite him too.
Mother has buck
teeth. They are seen protruding outside as if they stand guard to the lips.
When the father beat her under intoxication, she would bite him wherever she
could, be it hands or legs or mouth or stomach.
When he remembered
the scene where his father used to run around the loom platform to escape her
teeth, it brought him a smile.
“You must have
been born as a dog…”
“Only Because of that, I am spoiling my life with you.”
Normally she would
address him with respect. But during the peak of their fights, all her words of
respectful address would just fly away.
“Your mouth has
become too long. Breaking your teeth will only set you right.”
“O! Come, break my
teeth. Let me see how you do it! If you are man, try coming near to me. Let me
see your guts” she would challenge him and show her protruded teeth to him
ostensibly.
But, father never
dared to approach her to break her teeth. In order to regain his lost
inebriation, he would run to toddy shop again.
It was not sure
whether he was scared of facing her teeth, he died after she gave birth to the
tenth child. His death itself was an amusing anecdote.
All the deliveries
of his mother had taken place only at home . One aunt used to accompany her
during her labour times. She would only announce the birth of child by making
sound with Tambalam Plate.
“What’s born?’
father asked.
“Now the account
is fully tallied. There are five male children. Aren’t there? Now the girl
children will also be five”.
“You mean…it is a
baby girl?”
“Yes…I say the
same”
“Before I get them
all married, I will be buried in the banks of Kaveri river if only she knows
nothing other than begetting girl babies…? won't I?”
“You don’t have to
tear off any damn thing to get them married. Everything will happen on its own
according to their destiny. You don’t have to worry about it” mother told him,
sitting in the room.
“How can I remain
quiet without getting worried? You are a woman. You remain at home to talk
anything you want. But I am the one going out, meeting people outside. It is me
who will be reminded of the girls who have grown as big as granaries and reached
marriageable age”
“Only just a while ago, the child has been born. Why are you worried about their marriage now?”
“You have given
birth to four girls already. Is it an ordinary task to get all of them duly
married? You know nothing other than giving birth to girls. Don’t you?
In order to forget
his anxiety that his wife had given birth to a girl baby, he started drinking
liquor from morning itself. He would knock at the door every hour and repeat
his question, heaving a big sigh, ‘You fool! You know nothing other than
getting a girl baby’. Then he would go out again and come back after drinking.
The entire day was, thus, spent with his same questions and drinks.
That night, we did
not know what had happened. He vomited to the extent of making the entire house
stink. Following it, he vomited blood, fell unconscious. Totally freed from his
worries of getting the girls married, he reached the heavenly abode.
After that, mother
took up the responsibility of everything.
‘Mother taking
responsibility! What did it mean? Did she achieve anything spectacular? She
would get her stomach filled by making her children work by tormenting them.
She did not know anything other than filling in her stomach.
Rajam was
observant while brushing his teeth as any sound he would make might wake her
up. While brushing his teeth, he laughed himself as remembered an old incident.
It was very much
of an amusement for Rajam to see his mother brushing her teeth when he was a
child. She would brush her teeth with a handful of ash soaked in water. She
would take unduly long time to brush each and every tooth. As a child, he would
ask her, ‘ov..amma..fok sawasthak tak kur kellarthek aa? (O!
Mother! Are you sharpening your teeth just to bite the father?”) “Arre toko
onde baade bandha! Kaai thimirsaa? (You bugger! Let a bier be built
for you! Look at his temerity!”, with the hands still with spittle, she would
chase him to beat.
He would run away
from her before she could catch him.
Remembering this,
he laughed himself. Completed brushing his teeth. He thought of going to
Panjami hotel to drink a coffee, followed it waking up his sister and going to
the loom.
He wiped his face,
looked towards the East and folded his hands to pray to the Sun which had not
yet arisen. There was a mirror in the niche near the loom platform. Looked at
his face in it and combed his hair. He put on his shirt and was about to leave.
His mother was
still sleeping, snoring thinly. Should women snore? If told, would she listen
to him? She was not at all habituated at listening to his words. It might so
happen that she would snore more just because he had told her not to do. He
expected her to snore till he comes back from the hotel.
“Reiii..Rajam kot
jaristhe?” (Deii Rajam..,where are you going?”) his mother’s voice hit his head
like a crow bar.
Hmmm...What he had
expected not to happen, had actually happened. He did not speak anything.
“Isn’t the club
where you are going now? Bring some Sambar in a glass”
“They won’t give
Sambar in the club”
“Why can’t they
give? Get one Dosai then”
“Even if you buy a
parcel, they won’t give sambar separately in the club”
“No…he will give
everything. You just ask them”
“They won’t give.
They have displayed it in a hoarding”
“If you buy a
dosai, he won’t deny sambar. Will he? It is you who don’t like to get me a
dosai. You are scared of spending twenty paise for me. But you will satisfy
your mouth with all those tasty special dosai and sambar as much as you could.
Won’t you?”
“I thought of
going to the loom after having a cup of coffee. But the way you pick up fight
is just unacceptable.”
“Your own mother
who gave you birth is asking for a dosai. But it seems to be a fight to you.
Does it?”
“The entire house
is sleeping. Just for telling the fact that Panjami Club guys won’t give sambar
in a separate glass, you are bawling as if someone is taking away your life.
Aren’t you?
“If then, you
don’t have to go there. Go to some other club. You can enter the house, if only
you bring Sambar”
The aroma of
Panjami Club’s coffee was still on Rajam’s tongue. It was a very well-known
hotel in Kumbakonam for coffee made of cow milk.
His mother was not
ready to sacrifice her sambar.
“It’s alright.
Neither am I going to club nor drink coffee. Eii Kulli…Kulli…get up. Let us go
to the loom.”
“If you don’t
drink coffee, it is your problem. I need dosai and sambar”
“I don’t have
money. Give me money, I will bring it”
Till then, she was
talking to him lying on the bed. On hearing this, she got up reflexively and
sat on the bed.
“What did you say?
Tell me! What did you say?”
“Did I say
anything that is quite astonishing? I just told I would bring Dosai and Sambar
if you give me money. That’s it”
“You have become
such a cheap skate that you are unwilling to get a dosai for your own mother?
Haven't you? You have not even tied the Thali yet. But you
have got stack after stacks of rupee notes for that lady who is going to be
your wife? Right?”
“See…ma…! Please
don’t let your tongue loose. Our neighbours are fast asleep. They might wake up
if they hear your howling. I have not bought anything for anyone.”
“The cat used to
think that the entire world is dark just by closing its eyes. Doesn’t it? Do
you think that I don’t know what all you are spending for the opposite house
girl?”
“You shut up….If
you keep talking ill about the neighbourhood girls….”
“Did I talk
anything which is not existing? The way you smile at her when you walk on the
street and the way she shows her teeth to you in return...the entire town is
laughing at you. Do you know that? Let me tell you one thing. Keep it in your
mind. You like to marry her. Right? It will never happen…Till I am alive, that
girl can never enter this house as my daughter in law”
Rajan blankly
stared at his mother. He remembered how his father was running around the loom
to escape her teeth.
“What will you do?
Will you bite me?” he asked her angrily.
“Let diarrhoea eat
you up! You call me dog. Don’t you?” his mother started jumping.
“You are not be
blamed anyway! It is that opposite house girl has given you some aphrodisiac.
It only has made you enslaved like this. Deii…you call your mother dog. Your
mouth will be full of worms…full of worms”
The next house
rooster crowed once again hysterically. Rajam got terribly annoyed. In the
pretext of picking up fights for not bringing sambar, she was actually
insulting Pangajam. Wasn’t she? It seemed that her sound would bring all the
neighbours assemble there shortly. What will Pangajam’s parents think if they
hear her abuses? How much will it be painful for Pangajam, if she happens to
hear all these?’
“O! Goddess Kali!
Please shut up. Shouting like this in the early morning will never do anything
good to us. Now what do you want? A dosai and Sambar. Is that all? Give me that
glass”
His mother did not
move.
“Throw that Dosai
and Sambar on the head of that ass. You called me dog! Let a bier be built for
your funeral. I am keeping my mouth shut as I don’t want to create any troubles
for anyone. But you started treating me as a buffoon. The character you have
inherited from your family line won’t go away just like that? Will it? Your
father is a drunkard. His son will also be like him. Won’t he be?”
“Will you please
stop it? I won’t call you dog anymore. Take that tumbler. I will bring sambar.”
She never bothered
to listen to what he had told. It seemed that she would stop only after
spitting out all the possible vulgarity from her mouth.
Rajam’s anger
crossed its limit. She was a lunatic. She was not going to stop. She might shut
her mouth up, if he gave some tight slaps on her mouth. He could have given
that too. But being wary of her screaming, he controlled himself.
“Why are you
staring at me da?” Don’t keep all these naughty things with me. Do you think
that no one will come for my help if you beat, kick me since I am a woman? Try
beating me who has given you birth. You don’t know what I will do. I assume
that you are of the opinion that I am weaker. Aren't you? Remember, I am a
relative of Kali Kuppamma. Just touch me if you can. I will tear off your
stomach, take your intestines out, put it as a garland on my neck and stand in
front of the opposite house girl.”
There was a legend
among Kumabakonam Sourashtara people that Kali Kuppammal tore her husband’s
stomach apart with a sickle like kitchen knife, roamed around the streets with
his intestines garlanded on her neck before she surrendered before the police.
Rajam also knew about this story. His mother brought the reference of her
relationship with Kali Kuppammal only on that day. She was not that courageous.
She could only threaten her innocent children. Rajam could understand that
there was no point in talking to her further. He himself collected a tumbler
and left for the hotel.
Even his silent
departure did not leave his mother silent. She screamed again, “You don’t have
to buy anything for me. If you bring anything, I will throw it into the
gutter.”
He left without
uttering anything, stopped for a second hesitatingly. A question with its
visualization appeared in front of his eyes in which he thought he could pull
her, hold her hair tightly and shake it, give repeated blows on her cheeks one
after the other and punch on her face and back, and make her plead like “Please
leave…please leave me..I will never come on your way henceforth…you marry
Pangajam and be happy with her. Please leave me” and finally throw her into a
corner, kicking her to pulp. The very thought of this visualization comforted
his senses. ‘Like the way father used to beat her…She would pounce upon him to
bite him.…Will she pounce upon me to bite me like that? Let her come. Her
tricks won’t work with me. I will break her teeth and hand them over to her’,
he begrudged in his mind. But that comfort feeling he was having did not
last even for a minute. ‘Mother is Tadaka. Her words are sharper
than her teeth. The moment he raises his hand, she would screech
“murder…murder”. It was a residential area of five families and there would be
at least twenty persons. They would come to him running. All would find mistake only in him.
He could not win
his mother.
He walked
silently. It might have been six or seven days since full moon day. The
light of the crescent moon falling in the inner yard was giving a look of white
wash. It was the month of Masi. It was called post cold season. The
night was completely icy. Everyone in that house, which had been segregated
into cabins like pigeon holes, must be asleep. If they had been awake, one
could hear their sound. The sound of the loom could also be heard. Only Sita
Amma who was from the third family must be sleeping outside. The dim light of
the moon was falling on her. The shawl was lying crumbled at her feet. Seeing
her body twisted in all angles, one could easily say that she was also
sleeping. No one was awake at home. When Rajam reached the front yard
pleasingly after being convinced that no one could have heard his mother’s
lunatic scream, he heard a voice in Tamil, “What Rajam…are you going to the
hotel?”
It was Sarangan.
‘It seemed that he was awake. He could have heard the fight between Rajam and
his mother. Couldn’t he? Let him hear it. Is he better in any way or what?
Daily fights with the wife. Brother in law’s mediation. Can’t he speak in
Sourashtra language being a sourashtra man? He always speaks inTamil.
“hai…hai…
ekedic velo kot jaan? ( yes…yes…other than that, where will I go then at
this time? Rajam replied in Sourashtra language.
“I thought you are
going to toddy shop.” Sarangan laughed in Tamil.
“anku fotha
thelin jenika? (“still you do have hung over. Don’t you”)
“How can I come
out of hung over? I keep it in a pot there. Leave it aside. Please bring a
glass of sambar for me. In addition to it, get two idlies in parcel” he gave
out an aluminum tumbler to Rajam.
Rajam, indeed,
thought of not refusing him. But Sarangan was a mischievous chap. While coming
back from the hotel he would lock the door. Even if he shouts till his throat
gets torn, he would not open the door. His mother would open the door hearing
his sound. ‘Would she open it or would she disguise Goddess Kali who has just
opened up her eyes?’
“You may also come
to the hotel.” Rajam received the tumbler from him.
“What will you do
any thief enters the house and steals the woven cloths if we leave the door
open. Am I right? So, let me stand guard here. You go and bring my idlies”
Sarangan was smart in his replies, smiled.
Other than
scolding him in his mind, Rajan couldn’t do anything. Holding those two
tumblers in his hands, he was walking in the street.
The stars in the
sky and the crescent moon were shivering in the cold. On seeing Rajam, a street
dog got up. It was running behind him. He had not even fed it a morsel of food
so far. But for reasons unknown, it used to accompany him every morning during
his visits to the hotel as if guarding him. Mice and rats scattered here and
there in the street at the sound of his feet. Ping and donkeys were roaming
around searching for their food. Some women were sprinkling water in the front
yard and were drawing Kolam. The dog was running behind him. That
night he had a dream. It was an old dream anyway. Ever since he became aware of
asking questions, he had been having that dream for more than thousand times.
He was walking along a street. A maddened dog chased him, ferociously barking
at him. He was running till he could not hold up his breath. It pounced upon
him and bit him on his calf and grabbed it with its mouth. He got up with a
huge roar ‘Aiyooo’ from his sleep. It would take some time for him to realise
that it was just a dream.
Last night too, he
had the same dream. The same rabid dog got hold his calf muscles. People say
that the person bitten by rabid dog will also become mad. Will they become mad
even if a dog bites them in dreams? He took a turn at the corner of the street.
He threw his glance on all four directions and ensured that there was no human
activity around there. Only that dog which followed him was standing near to
him. Where ever he stopped, it also stopped. The dog which had come in his
dream was not as docile as this dog. How ferociously it was barking! Would his
mother be scared of such barking? He looked at the street dog and feigned a
feeble bark at it. It seemed that the dog got frightened as it had not seen a
man barking at it. It ran back for some twelve feet distance and stood there,
looking at him. Rajam thought that he would be able to chase his mother away if
he barked at her. He smiled, walked towards the hotel.
The dog followed
him again.
The hotel was
situated near the Ganesh Temple. Even in that early morning people were
thronging there in crowds. Gone were the days where the weavers were going to
the loom after having old rice. Now, the area was filled with coffee and tea
shops. One could buy ‘anything’ from the hotel. But, if someone asked a jar
full of coffee, how would it be possible to get good quality coffee? Further,
was it justifiable to demand one tumbler of sambar for two pieces of idlies?
Blaming the hotel owner served no purpose. Did it?
“Hei Rajam…it is
rare to see you here these days! Aren’t you very much fond of Panjami Hotel.”,
Seema, the hotel server asked him endearingly.
“O! is it Seema?
When did you come here? How many days since you have left Panjami Hotel?”
“It is one week”
Seema was the son of Purokitham Ramasamy Aiyangar. He didn’t like priesthood.
Studies, too, did not get into his mind. He started his hotel career with a
dream of becoming a movie star. No one would be able to see him in a hotel for
cosequently two months together. Not only hotel; he would keep on changing his
place from one town to another like Thanjavur, Madurai or Madras. He had a
habit-very good one. He used to serve the customers of the hotel by attending
them lovingly. If they ask an item, he would give it two. He would reduce the
bill amount too. Then he would meet them separately somewhere and get some
money for watching movies. Hence it was a win-win situation for both the
parties. There has been no history that a hotel owner had faced losses in his
business due to his behavior.
“Seema! What are
you chit-chatting there?” the hotel owner called him from his seat.
“One hot coffee.”
“Idli is also hot.
Sambar is extremely tasty. Just a second. I will bring it” Seema left quickly.
Rajam had two
idlies, one ghee rava Dosai and a degree coffee. He got the parcel packed for
his mother and Sarangan. He got two tumblers full of sambar at the mercy of
Seema and had got a profit of twenty-five paise in the bill amount.
“Precisely because
of this, I gave you tumblers in your hands!” Saranagan praised him.
Rajam wanted to
appease his mother somehow.
“Maa….I have
brought sambar. It is very tasty. Our Seema only gave it two tumblers full.” he
gave it to her. She didn’t receive it.
“You have brought
it. Haven’t you? Go and give it to the opposite house girl…go”
Rajam looked at
her face. The resentfulness found in that face made him uncomfortable.
‘Who else could
satisfy this petulant? Let her scold him; she could give a couple of blows, if
she likes. But is it justifiable to disgrace that lady, the opposite house
Pagajam? Who could make her understand what she is doing is unjust?
‘She has to go
away from my life. Only after that I can remain in peace. She won’t me on her
own. I only have to disown her’
“As you asked for
sambar, I have brought it for you. If you don’t like t, it is your problem. Eii
Kulli….have you brushed your teeth? Can we leave for the loom?”
Kuli must be nine
years old. She was the last child. She was waiting for her brother’s arrival.
Rajan looked at the wall clock in the hall. It was half past five.
His mother didn’t
stop with that. “Why am I going to touch that thing you brought? Go, give it to
your wife”
“If you keep
talking ill about the girls of the town, it won’t sound good.”
“Nothing will
happen even if my talk is not palatable. Look at the way you talk to me for
asking two idlies. You call me dog….you call me donkey….You don’t have money
for buying something for your mother. But you have bought an embroidered saree,
Gold chain like a thick rope, one sovereign Thali for that lady you are going
to marry. You have kept all in the trunk box. Do you think that I don’t know
anything? From where are you getting money for all these? Rajam felt that he
was being gored by the horns of a bull. “You idiot lady! Why did you open my
box like a thief? How could you open it without my permission? Rajam shouted at
his high pitch.
“Why should I seek
permission from you to open a box kept at my house? Control your tongue. Whom
you call thief? Call me like that once again. I will pull out your tongue and
cut it off”
As his top kept
secret had come out, an inexplicable fear had over powered him. For Pangajam-
his would-be- wife-, he had bought embroidered saree woven with his own hand,
from his owner at its principle price. He got one big thali and a small thali
made for her. A chain too. He had kept all those items in a trunk without
anyone’s knowledge. Once marriage was fixed, he would not be able to arrange
all at once. Wouldn’t he? That was why he collected all those jewels as and
when he was able to. But his mother had opened the box in his absence with a
thieving disposition. How daring could she have been?”
“Eiii..lady! why
did you open the box?” he caught hold her hands.
A sense of
tiredness bursting out of his stomach with anger fueled by a
darkness!
“Chee! You dog!
Leave my hands” she pulled out her hands from his grip. “You have not even tied
thali in her neck. But look at the way you are dancing! Keep what I am saying
locked in a box tightly with a lid. You like to marry that bit of crumpet!
Uhh…It will never happen. If she steps into this house, there will be a murder!
Yes…a murder.”
It appeared that
his mother’s words had closed his mouth. He spoke with a stammering voice. “I
am not going to marry anyone. Eii. Kulli…what are you looking at? Get on to the
loom platform.
He followed her,
got on to the loom platform. He touched the tape with his eyes, prayed to God
and started the work. As his sister helped him in aligning the border, he
started weaving. The tape started swinging elegantly from one side to another
and the silk in the fibre form was getting converted into a saree. While Rajam
pressed the pedal alternatively, the loom generated a hissing sound. Followed
it, the sound of wood planks hitting. Kulli did not talk anything. Had his
mother got tired? She will never get tired. Will she? Either he or she should
die. Till then she would never stop her mouth.
He wondered how a
mother could be like that. ‘It was said that beating one’s mother was a sin.
But she has every right to behave in a way that the world did not approve for a
mother. Is that right? Apart from giving birth to children like a pig, what
else she had done?’
His father was a
greedy man. He dreamt of becoming a rich man one day. He did not harp on the
belief that he could become a rich man with step-by-step hard work. Normally
people do test their luck in lottery tickets. Don’t they? Exactly like that, he
tested his luck through children and got many of them. ‘This horoscope of the
child was not in my favour. Next child will be born at the right auspicious
time. Let us try next” he would be ready for the next child. He believed that
any one of his children’s horoscope would turn out to be the luckiest and his
would become a rich man with that horoscope. But his mother did not think that
way. In return of gratitude for giving birth to all of them, she expected that
all should take care of her. She expected the same not only from her boys. The
condition of her girl children was no way better in this regard.
When he was five
years old, they handed over the tape in his hands. Till date- he is twenty five
now - the tape did not leave him. The condition of each of his brother and
sister remained same. Three of his sisters got married and escaped his mother.
Last two sisters- Kulli was nine years old and Rajamani was thirteen years
old-were assisting him in the loom. All the four brothers were alone. They give
money to their mother and are having meals two times in return. They did not
face much trouble from his mother. He was the one who had got into that gutter.
He could also have left her. Further, he could not get suitable loom platform
on rent. Earlier the rent for loom platform was two rupees. Now they were
demanding seven rupees. Sometimes platforms were not available even for that
rental. He had to pay off the debt borrowed for the marriage of his three
sisters. He had to save something for the marriages of his remaining two
sisters. His brothers were totally unconcerned about all these. But he could
not remain unconcerned. Could he be? As he felt that staying with the mother
would be economical, he preferred to stay with her.
Just because he
was genuinely interested to take up all the responsibilities on his shoulder,
he was caught in this ignominious situation with his mother. Whatever he did,
his mother would fight with him from the opposite direction. There were nothing
objectionable with Pangajam. Weren’t they? Her parents were alive. Among four
brothers, she was the only girl. She knew weaving too. She could do house hold
errands too. Even though she was not looking as appealing as a movie actress,
she looked very fine. Her parents were ready to give their daughter in marriage
to him. They had a talk with his owner too. The owner ascertained their
horoscopes. He only oversaw all the ‘marriage related give and take’ with both
the families.
In spite of all
these eligibility criteria fulfilled, she kept telling, “we don’t need this
girl. You should not marry her. Isn’t it atrocious?”. His mother was angry
because he didn’t inform her in advance. If she had spoken, she could have got
some fifty or hundred separately. Now she was angry that she could not get
anything like that. But, insulting Pangajam for that was no way justifiable.
Was it? Will she ever prosper in her life? Never. Pangajam was staying in the
house just opposite to his house. But he had never lifted his head to have
glance at her? Hadn’t he? She also had never turned her face towards his
direction? Hadn’t she? But this low born woman is abusing that chaste girl
always. Won’t the worms fill her mouth? She is such worthless lady who was
habituated raising her hands to beat his father. Is she worthy enough to pass
judgement about Pangajam?
The tape was
running, competing with his thoughts. Amidst his perplexed mind, not a single
thread of yarn had cut off. As she understood what was going through in his
mind, Kulli was busy assisting him with the tape.
His owner was in
favour of him. He had a good opinion about him. Had a belief. He used to call
him for everything. Only with his help, he was able to pay off his debt
borrowed for his three sisters’ marriage. In addition, he was able to make
arrangements such as saree, chain and thali.
He had kept all
those jewels locked so as to avoid his mother’s attention. She had opened it
like a thief. What sort of a pigheadedness is this?
Along with a
shiver, his anger added to the fuel. He heard his mother’s voice at that time.
“ Kulli…Oii Kulli…et aav (come here)”
Caught in between
her mother and her brother, little girl Kulli felt as if she were a two headed
ant.
She loved her
brother also.
“Anna! Mother is
calling me” she stopped running the tape.
“Why is she
calling while working?”
“Kaaikee (May
be for something)”
“Just wait. You
may leave after completing this one”
But her mother’s
voice came again shriller than earlier. “ovfo varde kaanum fodarni “(“You
stupid girl! Hasn’t my call fell into your ears? Are you coming or not?”
Kulli was not
ready to test her patience further. She left the tape, jumped out of the loom
platform, ran to her mother.
Rajam’s anger
crossed its limit. But there was an element of inertia sitting on his anger. He
felt like sleeping by wrapping everything under him, wanted not to get up ever
again. He had lost all his energy to fight back. All the nerves of his body
seemed to be totally inactive. The fight for Sambar ended as fight for
marriage. It has not yet ended. Has it? Still it is spreading its tentacles
more.
He was calmly
cleaning the threads, his head bent downwards. The kitchen was just ten feet
away. He could hear his mother’s reproaches at Kulli.
“You deaf! Nothing
I shouted fell into your ears. Didn’t it? Why the heck are you late?”
“Due to the noise
around, I couldn’t hear”
“From now onwards,
you don’t have to go to the loom. New Street Chennapan has told me that he
would give hundred rupees. Fill your tummy with old rice and go there.”
Kuli could not
tolerate that injustice. “One and three quarter of a yard of Saree is still
remaining in the brother’s loom. His owner has booked one saree urgently”
“No one has asked
you about all these. Get lost from here after eating the old rice.” She knocked
Kulli's head with her knuckle sharply.
Rajam was
listening to everything his mother was telling Kulli. He left the loom platform
and came down.
“Eii lady! What
are you telling?”
“I told her that
new Street Chennappan is ready to give hundred rupees as advance. So I asked
her to go there.”
The boys and girls
who could assist in aligning the borders in the loom were in great demand. Many
weavers were ready to give fifty or hundred as advance to engage them in their
loom. His mother knew about this.
“If I sent her
there, how can I do my work here?”
“You appoint
someone else. If at all you want Kulli to work for you, give me hundred rupees
as advance”
Rajam was able to
understand her cunningness. She opened his box with an evil disposition? Hadn’t
she? She had found one Thali and a saree. One chain along with hundred rupees
too. Now she is hatching a plan to snatch away that hundred rupees from him.
“With my hard
work, I have been taking care you all three. Now Kuli will be working for some
third person. Is that correct?
“You don’t have to
work hard to look after us. Only if you give me hundred rupees as advance,
Kulli will be working for you. Rajamani is also getting older. I need to save
something for her marriage. I need to buy a stud for her.”
As he was making
preparations for his marriage, she also pretended as if she was too busy in
making arrangements her daughter’s marriage. Rajamani was just thirteen years
old. What is the urgency for her marriage now? Even if a prospective alliance
comes for her, is it not his duty to take up everything on him?
‘Isn’t he the one
who is undergoing all the troubles due to the debts borrowed for the marriage
of his three sisters? What did she do? She is not asking money for buying Rajamani
a stud. Is she? She has just to snatch away the money from him. Further, she
has to stop his marriage somehow and trouble him as much as she could so that
he would not be able to concentrate on his work. This was her intention. Can
anyone see such a mother with this bad intention? Can they? Monster! Such
a monster!’
Till his father
was alive, she was behaving like a mouse. After his death, she had become a fat
rat. As all her boys and girls earned to feed her, the fat in her body had
increased. Why wouldn’t it increase? Her body will not bend even a bit to
assist in the loom. After getting the wages from him, she was making himself do
half of her work. Only the fat that had kept on accumulating on her body had
made her talk like that; do the things like that. Her impudence must be broken
at any cost. When his father died, she was crying with a lamentation song for
the sake of relatives. Now she has to cry, sing that lamentation song for
reducing the fat from her body.
When he spoke out
his words, there was not even a tinge of anger in it. “What is the urgency now
for Rajamani’s marriage? Won’t I take care of everything?”
“I have seen many
such persons who have done such things. Even before the marriage, you are
walking upside down. What turn one might takes after marriage, who knows?.”
“You have the cash
in the box. Your mind will not be at rest till you seize it from me. Isn’t it
right?
“I am not begging
you for anything. My daughter would work and pay you off. Wouldn’t she?”
“I won’t give
it”
“I am not
forcing you, though. Kulli will be going to the New Street.”
“Here it is! Take
everything. He took out the box’s keys from the nail it was hanging on the wall
and threw in to her. Putting on his shirt, looked at him in the mirror, applied
some talc on his face and adjusted his trimmed hair. It appeared to him that
the words from his mouth were falling rotten and reek.
“Take that hundred
rupees from the box. Get a saree. Wear the chain. Go…go…”
He felt that he
did not have anything to talk to her, felt as if all words had got depleted in
him. Without talking anything, he was standing there with his head bent down.
“Kaaidaa” (What
brother!) she came running to him.
“I borrowed five
rupees from Rajamani. When she comes for food, give this one rupee along with
that five rupees”
“Why are you
giving me seven rupees?”
“One rupee is for
you. Eat what you like. Don’t show it to mother”
“Why this one
rupee Anna?”
“Keep it with
you…keep it”
He kept on walking
telling this. His head was boiling. The chest was burning. He came out of the
house restively. Walked towards eastern direction. After crossing Mathappa
market, he reached eastern side of Kadalankudi street. He felt an unbearable
grogginess in his body, felt as if someone was pushing his neck from behind.
All the commotion had settled down except only one noise. It was a barking
sound of a dog. Now the dog is barking at him, chasing him to bite. He runs for
safety with fear. O!...chee…how can a dog which came in my dream chase me? Will
it bite me or what? What sort of insanity it is!
He kept walking.
Once he reached
Mahamagam Pond, he stopped. People say if someone kills himself in this pond,
he can reach the paradise directly. Last month too, one old lady from his
street drowned in this pond. Many people fall in that pond. Why not he? People
will say it is just a dead body found in the water. He has seen such dead
bodies. If I die in the pond, float in the water like air pumped balloon, will
my mother be able to identify it? Or will she be terrified of it? Will she cry?
But he knew swimming. If he falls in the pond, he will not be able to kill
himself that easily. At the end, it would become his trouble.
He continued his
walk. He was walking as if being chased by the fear of death. That rabid dog chased
him again. It was not a real dog. Dream dog . But, it came to bite him.
Wasn’t enough? The rooster of the neighbour crowed hysterically. Being awake,
he reached the railway station. The time was forty minutes past nine. One train
would come at fifty minutes past nine. Right?
He was walking
along the railway line. He would have walked two furlongs. He could see a train
coming in front. He felt a sense of relief. “appaadaa”. He thought if he ran in
front of the train, the train driver might stop the train. He stood on one side
away from the line.
Once the train
reached Arasalaru, the horn sound announced its arrival. He laughed. Before the
train crossed that bridge with its chug sound, he was in such a hurry that he
had fallen in front of the train hundred times, in his mind.
The engine passed
him. The driver waved his hands at him, smiled. The heat of fire pinched him so
sharply. The dog was barking. The rooster was crowing. His mother was yelling.
Rajam took his front foot ready as if he was preparing himself for a running
race. “Thuhrodi (You must die crying), he screamed and threw
himself in between two bogies.
They gave the dead
body only at about ten in the night. As it was not auspicious to take the body
inside the house, they had kept it on the veranda on a chair. There was no such
big loss for Rajam other than losing his life as the driver applied brake as he
suspected something amiss which had caused a severe injury on the rear of his
head. The hospital attendants had performed their duty perfectly. Hence Rajam’s
body was not looking that way terrible. It was sitting like a bride groom with
a rose garland.
Could his mother
sit there without crying? She cried so fervently. Not only the people from his
street, others from many streets came to see him, shed some drops of tears for
him.
Pangajam was still
sitting in the opposite house. As her parents had gone to the opposite house,
she was in her house with her brothers.
“Hayya..tu jitho
(Ei..girl! You have not gone there to see? Have you?” her brother asked her.
“What if seeing
anyway? Crazy fellow! I must thank god for he didn't commit such thing after the marriage.” Pangajam covered her head also with the shawl.
Not only cold,
even nuisance of mosquitoes was also more in Kumbakonam.
Translated from Tamil: Saravanan. K
Source : www. Azhiyasudargal.blogspot.com (M.V Venkatram’s “Paithiyakara
Pillai” Short story)
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