Fish Bone - (Mul) by Charu Nivedita

                                   To read the Tamil version of "Fish Bone" click here  

                                    English Translation of Classic Tamil Short Stories Series - 6)

Charu Nivedita

 

Translated from Tamil:  Saravanan. K

It must have been more than fifteen days since the fish bone got stuck in my throat. It must have got stuck while eating fish.  I thus became so allergic to eating fish due to this that I wouldn’t even touch any fish if they have bones, no matter how tastier they are. Some fishes have bones only in the middle. Just like feather of a chicken. Some fishes have lots of bones in the interiors of its flesh. Karthikai Vaalai, Mullu Vaalai belong to this category of fishes. But there is one fish which does not fall into any of these categories…it is Kola Fish. (Flying Fish). This fish too has middle bone. But one side of the fish would have bones in the flesh and other part only flesh. This Kola Fish will not be available throughout the year. It will available only during Vaikasi and Aani months….(roughly in the months of May and June). Once Aadi month nears, arrival of Kola fish would dwindle down. There is a saying to denote this: ‘Once Aadi month comes, Kola would go to its mother’s home’. 

Catching Kola Fish is itself a captivating experience. I had gone into sea in Catamaran just to watch catching Kola fish. No one would use mechanised boats to catch Kola Fish. What is the reason?...One has to travel into the sea at least twenty miles to sixty miles to catch Kola Fish. If Mechanised boats are used, what will be the expenses on diesel to travel that distance?...If six or seven persons get into the sea at 3 ‘O clock in the morning in Catamaran, sometimes, it would take even two days for them to return. One could catch three thousand fishes to twenty Thousand fishes in one occasion. They used to carry green leaves and grass leaves along with them in Catamaran. They would tie them with a square shaped wooden plank, and leave it afloat like an island of Green Leaves. On seeing this ‘Greenery’, kola fish would throng into it jumping to shoot their eggs in the green leaves. Many a times, one would be able to see the eggs that are sticking to that ‘island’ when it is brought ashore.  

One more interesting aspect about catching Kola Fish is that the net will not be ‘thrown’ to catch it. This is the only fish which is caught by identifying through naked eyes. A lampara type of net is used to catch it. One needs to keep moving with that lampara net open, and can collect the fishes falling inside. This type of fishing net is unsophisticated one. Sometimes, not a single Kola Fish would be caught. The reason...Burla Fish. Not a single Kola Fish would come near if Burla fish is found moving around in the vicinity. There is a belief that Kola Fish will be available in plenty during full moon day. For them, Kola Season is their ‘harvesting’ season. A person would be able to earn up to three hundred rupees if he goes to sea to catch Kola Fish during that season. At the same time, one must understand that there only a very few dangerous jobs in the world that could match the dangers of catching Kola Fish. It is said that Fisher folk used to put Vaaikkarisi (Turmeric mixed rice put in the mouth of a person after his death) before sending them into sea for catching Kola fish. Such customs are no more prevalent these days. Once Vaikasi month arrives in, the talk of the town would be only Kola Fish. Even if the wind blows faster, people used to grumble about its speed for its way of throwing sand on their face and mouth. They used to be contempt about the wind as ‘Satanic Kola wind’.  

It has been fifteen days since Uncle and Aunt had arrived in. The time went by faster just like fifteen minutes. It was on the day of their arrival, the fish bone got stuck in my throat. Immediately after their arrival, uncle went out for shopping. He wouldn't touch the food if fish was not served. Among other fishes, Kola Fish was very dear to his heart. It was on that day the fish bone was stuck when I was having meals with him. After that, I never touched fish. The very thought of fish bone kills all my interest in fishes. My aunt won’t eat fish. Whenever she ate fish upon being compelled by us, she wouldn’t miss out vomiting it out after the meals. 

My aunt was just opposite to my uncle. Aunt was passionate about reading books. If my uncle was known to have read something, it would be nothing but weekly almanac. Even in writing too, uncle used to be prudent like reading. I have been keeping all the letters written by aunt safely. Do you know how many times I have read all those letters that were filled with poetic exuberance? But what about Uncle! He would open his pen either just to write his signature or write a letter to his mother (His letter would be like this…Respected Mother! This is a letter from your son! I am alright here. Please let me know about your well-being. I will be coming there on coming 10^th. Nothing more to share. Thank you…) Later I understood that those letters to his mother were not written by him, but my aunt on his dictation.  Funnier than this, his mother would write him a letter. ‘You do not have time to write a letter to me. Do you? Don’t make your wife write letter to me anymore. In case you wish to write a letter, please write it with your own hands’. Only after getting harsh scolding from his mother, he started writing even this regular letter with his own hand writing. We can enlist such things one after another…

 “Dei Raja!...I am going out. Will you accompany me?”- my uncle’s unclear voice cut short my thought.  My aunt who came there at that time told him uninvitedly, “Raja is unwell. He won’t come”. 

 “Ok…Ok…keep him locked”-Uncle went out angrily. 

 If uncle could not wander in the town during evening from six to nine, he would be restless as if his head would break into pieces. My aunt was pitiable anyway…How was she able to spend her time alone all the time without becoming mad? These days, I watched one thing from her talk- she was not addressing me with the suffix ‘daa’. Ten years of age difference was big enough anyway to call me in singular. Wasn’t it? But I like that way of being addressed. I felt a soft touch on my forehead, I raised my head. It was aunt. 

“Raja…your forehead is very hot” …she sat beside me as she was casually speaking and cossetted my palm into hers. I was ready to be burnt alive for getting this proximity of my aunt in the darkness on veranda, let alone temperature on forehead. 

 Both of us did not talk for long. 

 Suddenly aunt asked me “You told that a fish bone had stuck in your throat. You got it removed?”

 I bobbed my head, “No…”

 “Then do what I say…while eating, make a big ball of warm plain rice and swallow it. It will go” 

 I didn't reply to this advice. I am thinking why I shouldn’t kiss the hands of my aunt that were holding my hands. But…” 

 ‘What is stopping me from doing that?’

 I have read ‘love has no taboos’. If then, was the feeling I had on my aunt love...? Love…chee…they have abused this word too much in serial stories and cinema. 

 ‘Is it sex-love?’

 No…I could not think like that. It must be a tender devotion. But what could it be its boundary?

 I am getting confused about it unnecessarily. The feeling of love I have for my aunt was not a recent development. Was it?

 That day, I must have been six years old. My aunt used to tease me regularly, “Raja..who are you going to marry?..I used to tell her every time “I will marry only you..it is only you”

 I didn’t forget even a bit of it. 

 “Aunty…I will marry only you. But when I marry you, your hand and skin should not become withered and sagging like grandma. It should be like this…’, I would show her fleshy, rounded hands. 

Aunt would laugh at this and tell my mother. “Did you get what Raja is telling?”. She would narrate everything from the start and repeatedly share my words amidst her incessant laughter. 

I am thinking about it now again. But, why doesn’t aunt ask the same question any longer now?  

Even if aunt asks me who I am going to marry now, will I be able to reply like earlier?  

‘Aunty…I will marry you only because your heart remains same even though your hands are not looking like the way it did fifteen years ago’.  

Due to the sudden deafening barking of street dogs, my sleep got disturbed. I wondered how I came to that place to sleep. I could remember what I was last talking to my aunt. However, I could not remember how I came here dozing and slept. How can I sleep after that? It was getting dawn. I was wallowing in the cot for some time and got up. Went to the back yard with brush and tooth paste. While brushing, I could feel the prickling sensation of fish bone in the throat. After brushing, I cleaned my tongue with thumb. I wouldn’t use tongue cleaner for this. Tongue cleaner can clean only a particular area of the tongue. The interiors of inner tongue cannot be cleaned with tongue cleaner. So the better option that remained was thumb. But, in case of any rough, unpolished finger nail, it could cause bruise in the tongue. Blood along with saliva would come out…then Blood with saliva! a suspicion would ensue whether that bleeding was due to tuberculosis or any bruise in tongue. To avoid this, one should keep thumb without any dint. What ever it is, today I have to take the fish bone out somehow. I scooped out with my thumb and little finger one after the other. Nothing came out except good amount of vomit.  

The fish bone still remained there.  

In earlier occasions too, fish bone had stuck in my throat. But it never bothered me like this as if killing me alive for fifteen or twenty days. I remember one such funny incident when I was young. That time, I was staying at my grandma’s house. One day they had made roast made of yam for meals. I wasn't aware of yam at that age. Since it was tastier, I ate too much of it.  Not a minute over the meal was complete, I started yelling ‘aiyo…amma…’. A very intense inching deep in the throat. Without knowing that it was an itching, I was yelling it was a thorn. The servant maid only came to rescue telling that it was due to yam, and thus removed everyone’s fear and assuaged me.  

After having tiffin I was talking with aunt, sitting inside house. My younger brother told me that someone had come to meet me. Thinking that it could be some unknown person, I came out to see who it was…surprisingly, it was Baby…  

“It is quite surprising to see you here…you used to roam around in the market till 11’O Clock. Don’t you?” 

“I didn’t go to the market. It is alright…come with me up to date palm orchard..” 

“Just wait…I will come in a minute", I went in and told my aunt, “I need to go out. I will be back soon” 

“Come back soon Raja…” 

Aunt didn't like me to go out at all. But the seriousness seen on the face of Baby!! 

I went out.  

We came to date palm orchard, still talking. The date palm orchard existed there only for name sake. Not a single date palm tree was found there. It must have been a date palm orchard earlier. Now what remained was only its name. We could change its name as tamarind grove. There were plenty of tamarind trees. We sat under one tamarind tree. He leaned against a big root of the tree and sat like a Chettiar leaning his back on a stone. Initially he started describing his problems slowly and then gained momentum and poured out his anguish. The matter was silly piece of a problem. His father had a lot of land property. Unlike him who toiled in land, his undying desire was to see his son becoming a doctor. But this fellow did not even pass P.U.C. He was telling that he fell asleep the moment he picked up Biology or Zoology books. His interest was in farming. As he was not interested in pursuing M.B.B.S, his father had started treating him as his arch enemy. Following this, there was no scarcity of frequent scuffles between them. They had not come to a pint to wrestle physically yet. That was it.  

He was taking many decisions indecisively.  

I diverted the topic. “It is alright…I feel thirsty. Let’s go home to have water” 

After drinking water, he asked for a match box and lit a cigarette. But for me, after drinking water the fish bone started causing more discomfort in the throat.  

I felt like vomiting.  

He knew about my problem- a kola fish bone getting stuck in my throat. I have been complaining about this issue anyway all the time. Haven’t I?” 

“Raja…seeing this fish bone getting stuck for such a long time, I suspect whether it was fish bone or something else? Perhaps, it could be hair found in the food.”

My fears started increasing once I heard about hair. He didn’t leave it with that. He added, “It might be your illusion too”  

I became annoyed.  

“I was watching movie along with your father yesterday night. If that was true, how was it possible that you both were fighting yesterday? You must have dreamt. Mustn’t you?” 

I didn’t get angry. My irritation grew more instead. 

“What Raja!...this much late!...You must not go out hereafter. You should be at home till we leave for our home tomorrow” -aunt’s order came before I entered the house.  

“Why this urgency now? You could leave after five or six days.”  

“What can I do Raja…it is your uncle insisting it” 

“Yes…you are also repeatedly insisting to go to your home. Don’t you?”  

Aunt did not reply to this question.  

I came back to Veranda after taking bath in the well in back yard. Aunt was not there. Thinking that she must be lying in the room, I came there.  

There… 

Aunty was weeping like a child with her body shivering and head placed on the table.  

“Aunty…what is this? …I lifted her head, holding it tenderly.  

“Now, are you satisfied Raja…? Your understanding about me is only this much. Is it not?” 

I hated myself. I had hurt such a soft heart.   

I didn’t remove my hands from her head.  

Still some more minutes…the house would wear a deserted look… 

Here they are. Uncle and aunt are leaving. I also leave along with them, till Railway station.  

The train would leave at eight. We had reached the station one hour in advance. Younger brother and uncle got a seat near the window. Aunt was standing with me. “Will you write me letters frequently?” she asked me and held my hands with hers. Eyes were full of tears! 

I felt like hugging aunt and cry to my heart's content. I controlled my tears that welled up in my eyes, biting my lower lips.  

We didn’t know how long we were standing like that. At once, aunt wiped out her tears, went inside and sat at the seat beside younger brother. He came out of the train. 

I went near to the window and held her hands.  

‘Why shouldn’t I kiss these hands? Should I?’ 

The train started moving slowly. I removed my hands. The train gained speed gradually.  

I could see a hand waving at till the light was visible.  

I came back home, went to my room, switched off the light and sat on the chair.  

A voice of a woman was heard with an elongated tune “ kolaa…kolaa…seven kolaa for a rupee…kolaa”  

I went to the back yard and tried scooping it out with my little finger.  

Only vomit came out.  

What about the fish bone?...  

 

*** End **